Aging women. Am I one of those? How to endure and get to terms with an aging body
77No, this article isn't going to tell you how you fight the aging process. It is the opposite really. I will tell you what happens when the aging process starts to show on your body and how to learn to live with it! That’s the only way because you can’t possibly buy all those anti aging products to keep up with the aging process. Most of us will not have the time or the economy to do it. There are endless articles on anti aging products and articles about how women can lift different parts of the body and for some reason this seems to be the reality. You are supposed to fight the normal aging process with all means! But I won’t do it. At least not to insanity!
So let’s go! Be prepared for some embarrassing facts but I will try to keep it on the decent side. I will focus on women in this article because that is what I know best. But I will love to read an article about aging men!
It has been obvious for a while now but I have chosen not to deal with it. But I can see that denying facts isn't going to work since it stares me in the face when I look in the mirror!
That person staring back at me in the mirror is in many ways a stranger to me but yet so familiar. As another women said in a comment in my hub "the usual old lady"; I see my mother, myself and my daughter in that mirror. I can even see my grandmother. The person staring back at me is someone who looks like me but yet not! But one thing is clear, it is time I realise that the last remaining glimpses of the former and younger me is slowly fading away!
It is time to learn how to live with that new person, but how do I do that?
To grow old with dignity, what is that? To be honest, right now I can’t see anything dignified about it! It is simply a physical maturity which is far from my self-image. And it is certainly not dignified to aging as women. In our culture women are supposed to look good, be beautiful as if that was our only advantages. We all know that this isn't true but yet it is a fact. You never hear about “the grey temples charm” when it comes to women, do you?
So what happens when aging starts to show? Lets start from the top;
Hair-
My hair is slowly turning grey, but that is one part of the aging process that I am not willing to accept yet. I refuse to let go of my former natural colour and I have to dye my hair every 5 weeks or so. That is when a grey scalp is beginning to be visible and let’s face it; a hair with a grey stripe at the scalp is one of the ugliest available. It looks untidy and sloppy and only arouses pity no matter how good looking the women are otherwise.
Eyes-
What has happened to them and why? My eyes used to be my pride and there are many men who have praised them, but not lately if I am honest. So, what has happened to them? Many things apparently! The upper eye lids have a slightly red colour? (why is that) and they also have began to sag a little. What is the purpose of that, are we supposed to have a smaller field of view as we age? Are there things we are not supposed to see? The only thing I can imagine is each other since the love of your life also grow older beside you!
The area under the eyes where the skin is more fragile can more easily look swollen and sometimes also have a darker colour. And there is of course the wrinkles that is visible and isn't possible to cover with makeup. Some foundations will only make them more visible so make sure to choose the right one!
Face-
The rest of the face is suffering from gravity and as the years go by, the name that I have heard many times in my life that is supposed to describe the face oval on older women; “the hamster pouches” suddenly appears with greater clarity!
And why on Earth are women in my age starting to grow sticky hair on the chin? There must be something wrong with evolution here since hair on the human body is there in order to protect the skin or absorb body liquors. So why do women get hair on their chin? Do women closing up to 50 starts to drool or something or are we a bit more frozen than we where before, or are we maybe turning into men? That is a total mystery to me and since I don’t drool, at least not yet, and have no planes in turning into a man, I amuse myself with picking them one by one!
The neck-
OMG, watch out, here comes another animal feature; the turkey neck! Suddenly one day it is there! And you can’t pretend otherwise! Live with it or do surgery.
Bust-
I will simply say one thing about that area- gravity! Sometimes I think Earth’s gravity must be increasing but there is no science that supports that. I suppose the cause more likely is that my body doesn’t have the strength to fight gravity any more. Another strange fact is that the body fat starts to migrate from the décolletage, but where does it go, and why? Since I don’t like to look like a piece of pork ribs I build muscles here to cover for the missing body fat.
Are your self-image coherent with your real age?
See results without votingDo you fight aging?
See results without votingStomach-
Well, I think I will leave this as a hidden area from now on. Suddenly apparently from nowhere fat are starting to gather in this area. Maybe it is here the fat that is missing on other parts can be found! I don’t have the time that it will take to get my six pack back! Let’s move on!
Butt-
Yes, you have already guessed what will come; gravity! But this one I can easily fight with efficient butt exercise. I refuse to have my butt flat and misplaced further down so my butt is now in better shape than ever and in normal location!
Legs-
Here is one area that hasn't been affected by aging, not yet anyway! Maybe the skin is a little bit looser and some blood veins are starting to show more prominent.
Back-
Yes, the back changes as well and here the skin is starting to get loose and some of the fat from other parts have for some unclear reason gathered here too. Suddenly you can have a bump of skin over the bra and one under! OMG, where did that came from?
Arms-
Sagging skin here too. Exercise can make up for some of it, but I make sure I don’t use my whole arm when I wave. From now on the more lady- like “queen” wave” is applicable for me. More forceful waving can cause the skin on the underside of the upper arm being placed in tremor! And we don’t want that to happen, do we?
I will now stop there since I am sure you got the picture without me going into more details!
How on Earth am I going to learn to live with my new body and be satisfied with this? But I have to, because there is no way back. Am I vain? Maybe a little, but the big issue is that my self-image isn't coherent with reality!
In my mind I don’t look like that. Sometimes when I see photos of myself I even surprise myself by thinking; who is that old bat? And when I within a second realise it is me I look away fast trying to forget it.
This has to stop, I love myself and I want to get to know the “new” me! I will do that by doing the same as I did when I got a new body as a teenager! I will use the mirror! I will use the mirror frequently, maybe not as much as a teenager, because I have more to do in my life now and haven’t got all that time for myself as a teenager. So, the first thing to do is to purchase full body mirrors! I will make sure there are lots of them on several places in the house so I can throw a glimpse when I pass minding my other daily chores. And the bedroom and the bathroom are going to get many mirrors!
Somehow I am going to get it together by updating my self- image to reality. Although I find aging as a natural process and I also find older ladies beautiful I will continue to fight some aging parts; the one where I think there is something wrong with evolution!
I will try to be an old lady of our time. The question is what kind of an old lady I am going to be?
Suggested readings!
- The usual old lady - where did she go?
When I was a kid and even in my youth, the usual old lady were everywhere! Any women over 35 years old was an Aunt. But where is she now? She is gone, and instead women in middle life and in past middle age are quite different from before
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Hi Dexi and congratulations to you on your big birthday in advance! You are right, it isn’t about the age since we do feel young inside but I have a problem with my self image. I want to look in the mirror and recognize myself! You seem to be on the right track though and I hope you will have lots of fun! And the turkey neck, well, if I do I will let you know first thing! Thanks for coming by. Tina
A pragmatic and a bit poignant hub.I know a woman from the gym whose 63 and looks great; from a short distance, she seriously could pass for 25.Of course shes had the lipo-suction to the rear, does strength training and cardio religiously, dresses young, on and on. Her husband told me she really didn't to do all that as he would love her anyway. I prefer mature ladies my self and as long as a woman tries to keep herself up in a normal way she doesn't have to go to extremes. By the way for those who drink a little wine; muscadine has 6 times the resveratrol than any other grape. Very fine hub thoughtforce and ladies don't worry as far as men go, there are plenty of us who love you and don't count numbers in our feelings.
Oh dear this all sounds pretty grim! Great hub though Thougtforce.
I recently attended my 50th high school reunion, and the 'kids' I used to know are now all old codgers.
I was the only one who had not aged! :-)
Alistar, you are so kind and encouraging and say all the right words here. We all need to hear it from time to time:)
I see many beautiful older women too and I don’t mind if they have wrinkles or extra skin here and there, in fact I don’t even notice it. But it is a totally different story when you see it on yourself since one often is the worst critics! Thanks for this lovely comment and for the tip about muscadine.
Tina
Hi aceatnna, yes I suppose it does:) I thought it was time to tell it like it is and not hide it behind some anti-aging tips. The only way to make this normal is to dare to talk about it since it is natural and hit all of us one day. We can’t stay young forever and we shouldn’t feel we have too! I am glad you liked the hub nevertheless! Thanks for visiting.
Tina
Will Star, that is exactly how I have felt up until now! And I still think the same when I see old friends; Oh how old he/she looks. But I guess I didn’t look properly at my self before. However, hold on to that feeling! Great to see you here! Tina
Hi thougtforce, I never really thought about or worried about getting older, but i have always tried to keep myself fit and strong so when i get much older i could get around better than those who did nothing to take care of their bodies .
Awesome and vote up !!!
Hi Tom, neither have I before now! To stay fit is so important and I think it helps later on as you say. We all get old if we are lucky so we better do the best we can. Thanks for the rating and for your visit here, and give that wonderful dog a treat from me!
Tina
Well written and so true thanks for the reminder lol :) I don't feel old in my mind but that mirror that I used to look into a lot more than I do now says different.
Up and useful!
Great article ever on aging I have read. Seeing an aged person, no one can understand what he is feeling about unless and until you also start feeling the same.
Tack Tina- :)
I can relate to your article. I'm amazed at the changes that have occurred to me, just during these past 3-4 years.
Libby and i were talking about the subject and i told her i wanted paint all my mirrors black- ha! :)
I have vanity in a mans way. my belly sticks and stays- my eyes have circles and it is not from lack of sleep- my arthritis sucks- and they tell me my sugar levels are high.
I sound like my mom and aunt talking when i was younger, at the swimming pool and pointing out their age and where it has and hasn't collected-
Thanks for the reminder of aging and feeling old Tina- Ha-ha- :)you're human- feel free!
its all part of the plan and process my friend-
we age- we die- we are reborn... everything is relative.
Fred min Svenska syster.
Susan, I am sorry I reminded you! I can so relate to what you say about mirrors. In some way I avoid them unconsciously, but that has to stop from now on. One day that mirror is going to be my friend again:)Thanks for your visit and comment and we can at least feel young inside! Tina
Ritakriti, you are so right! I have always thought that aging people in some mysterious way was satisfied with their aging process. Or maybe I haven’t thought so much about it before now. But for most people that isn’t the case at all! Thanks for your visit and I am glad for your appreciation.
Tina
Hi Greg, I am so sorry I reminded you too! It wasn’t my intention to make all my hubfriends to feel old or aging:) Yes, when the aging process start, it comes so quick, maybe that is why it is hard to accept. To paint the mirrors black or avoid them totally have been my strategy too but that doesn’t work either. The reality sneaks upon you one morning and you stare at the facts!
Yes, we are exactly as the generation before us. I can remember when the only thing my mom talked about was aging and diseases! And now we are here! Unbelievable.
When I last was at a dinner with the girls I suddenly realised that we where not talking about men or love or even relation problems anymore; we where talking about diseases amongst absent friends, cholesterol, hip problem and so on! OMG For the record I must point out that I am the youngest of us and the oldest is about 20 years older than me so they are ahead of me in that area!
I think vanity is a great thing because that means we are living and care about our selves and others. I hope I am vain until I die:)
Watch out with the sugar levels and take care of you the best you can! But we must also enjoy and be alive, and make sure we have the best time ahead of us!
Bye for now min vän!
Tina
This is one good reason to hang out with people who are older than we are - It makes us feel and look young! Hahaha. Yes, you are so right. Just seems like one day the tide changed and where I used to be offended by someone whistling at me as I walked past, that has been a long time missing. Oh, dear. Sad but true. I miss my younger reflection. The other day my Mom really scored points by looking at a framed photo I have on my counter. She said "Oh my, you both looked so young then." Thanks Mom.
All of us know that we have to grow old but see it in the mirror is different. Maybe the time goes too fast and we are not able of get used to its changes... Just another decade, please!
I am only 37 years old... but my body is changing, my habits are changing, my mind is changing ( fortunately!). I love myself and I am ready to accept these changes... Am I really ready?
It is better that I am going to watch me in the mirror.....
Great Hub! Aging is inevitable, it is better be ironic and wise!
Hi PegCole! That is a good idea! In that way we will always be the youngest!
I have never imagined aging to come so quickly and as you say, it wasn’t long time ago someone whistled after me in street.
Photos… they are horrible! Maybe we should stay away from them totally from now on! At least until we have accepted our new us. In some way I will be satisfied with my new me even if it takes a while…
Thanks for your lovely comment which was both a validating and an encouragement! Tina
Fuchsia, I think you have some years left with your younger you! At least I hope so:) But maybe it is good you have notice the changes already so you are more prepared than I was. I must have lived in complete denial for many years, refusing to see the obvious. To know that we will age isn’t quite the same as accept it.
So make sure you are a good friend with your mirror, just in case even if you seem to be aware of what’s happening and what is to come.
And if you haven’t done that already, try to take good care of your body and your skin. It might not give you another decade in youth but I think it will help a little:)
I am so glad you came by. Thanks! Tina
Hi thoughtforce, I enjoyed reading your perspective thoughtforce. Its such a reality check. You're right we cannot fight the aging process, but we can 'maintain' health and beauty regimens with discipline and intent. And the younger/sooner one starts, the better.
If you've not read my hubs on Ernestine Shepherd/Mimi Kirk, pls do. I hope you will find them inspiring...
Thanks for sharing, take care.
Ashantina, Oh yes, I have and they are amazing women! I enjoyed them very much.
I think that maybe I can slow the aging speed down a little. We can’t stop the aging but we can do some wise choices. We need good nutrition, plenty of water and some exercise. Thanks for the great tips and reassurance, you have such a healthy approache in many ways! Tina
I've began to notice the first signs of real difference in my face, when I catch a glimpse of my self off guard. It happens, I like your attitude and I for one choose to do the simple basics, eat healthy and stay in shape and strong the rest will come as it does naturally and I will just have to deal with it.
BTW, your a beautiful woman both inside and out. I love your work. Your spirit is young and vibrant as is your beautiful smile, smile now! :) Katie
Hi Katie, Yes I am smiling and especially now after your wonderful comment:))
Aging is natural and we all know it will come. As you say; the only thing we can do is to try and live in a way that is good for us. From your writing I know that you do just that and I think you will be young also when you are older like Mimi Kirk! It is so important to have a positive mind and make the most of it! I am working on a positive approach even when it comes to aging and I will eventually:) I do as this proverb says; Fake it until you make it. If something doesn’t come natural in my mind I make a decision about where I want to go and in my mind I just fake it until I believe it myself. And for the moment I have positive conversations with the mirrors!
Katie, your visits are always so appreciated by me. Take good care of you my friend, in every way possible. Tina
Tina, great hub and funny. I like the wave. hehe Now I know how to do it.
Did you see on the news today the woman that has had 51 plastic surgeries! OMG
See you later.
Tina V
Hi Tina, I am so happy to see you and that you liked this hub. Yes, the wave… once I started to notice this on others in my age I try to keep it more calmly:)
I saw that poor woman and I must say that I think I am satisfied with natural aging after all! Imagine to go through all the pain and for what?
Take care! Tina
I too am learning to see myself as I am now...different from my long-held image of a more youthful self. Wrinkles, less vital skin, less energy. Such is life! Then I remember I still have good health and enough vitality to enjoy each day...I just have to do things in a gentler fashion...and that is okay. I am learning to love my older self...I always thought my older female relatives looked just fine even though they too went through the same angst!
Great Hub, Tina on a subject close to the hearts of so many of us!
BTW...you look fantastic!
Thank you so much Scribinet, your comment feels warm and straight from the heart and your last sentence put a smile on my face:) I so agree with you, other older women look great! I think they are beautiful in both their looks and in the way they act because they have that assertiveness that comes with experience. So, let’s have that as a goal!
Best wishes! Tina
Yes,I do love how older women look! Just have to apply that to myself... experience and confidence younger years just cannot have...it shows in a kind of grace that fits an older face!
A different beauty to be sure, but definitely a goal to go for! The media just has to learn to embrace the beauty too and I guess we are doing it one comment at a time for them!
Yes, let's have that as a goal! Cheers! Maggie
Funny, great! I'm turning 36 this month and I am slowly starting to see the signs; the wrinkles, the white hairs creeping in, the muscle replaced by flab. But I think the ugliest thing is women who fight aging going to the extremes, like multiple plastic sugeries and wearing clothes meant for a teenager. Nothing says bad like trying too hard.
I enjoyed this hub- voted up. Love your outlook! You are beautiful and smart!
Cheers Maggie! To apply it to one self is the hard part :) But we will do it!
Yes I wish media would use more natural aging women, but on TV and in newspaper it is mostly women where money is no problem and where the battle to look young is fought with surgery. And even though many do surgery nowadays I still think it is a minority of the women on this planet that does it!
It is a hopeless battle so it must be better to try and accept aging.
You seem to have the right attitude to look great even if you get older! Thanks for coming by!Tina
Izettl, Oh yes, it comes so slowly with small signs and then suddenly the speed increases and it is a fact! But 36 is a great age where you still look as you feel and also have gained experience and maturity. I hope you enjoy that lovely age to the fullest!
You are so right about the multiple plastic surgeries and I think it looks so unnatural and also pitiful. The person does not look any younger and it only shows that the person has major problems in other areas.
Thanks for your lovely comment and for your encouragement! Tina
When I look in the mirror, I see the younger girl I use to be and wish I still was. Why did I waste my youth?? But, I know I don't have it to buy all those creams out there that supposedly make you look younger. Exercise would probably help me too, but I tend to get lazy at times. I guess women just want to look their best at any age. To feel ones self-worth and that we are still attractive. I know I can't change the aging process, but I sure wish I could! : ) good hub!!
Hi shygirl, the mirror isn’t a girls best friend in a certain time of life:) I do buy some creams because otherwise my face will be to dry, but I do not think they will make anyone look younger! To accomplish that, more radical treatment is needed.
I have found exercise to be a good friend. It gives me a better self image, and it also helps me to like myself. Apart from that i feel so much better both in my body and mind. I think it is the best way to stay fit. It is a shame that there isn’t any exercise for the face:)
Thanks for your visit and for your thoughts, somehow it helps to know I am not alone! Tina
An absolutely truthful, straight-forward, magnificent article on aging women. For myself, when I look in the mirror I look for authenticity. Am I being true to myself? If I am, I will accept the entire me as I am, wrinkles and all. Do I like the flabby arms? Heck no. But I love the arms that have held babies, hugged friends, carried loads of groceries for a hundred years, protected my children and caressed a lover or two. And...all I can do about aging is fight gravity the best way I know how - a little exercise, good nutrition and...
standing on my head:)
vocalcoach, you have made my day and given me something to be proud of when I look in the mirror. I can agree on everything you say, and it is there I am heading! That is exactly how I see other women, I think they are so beautiful and the different signs of aging are just proofs of a long and great life. I know it in my head, now I just have to learn to see it in myself! Thanks for this great perspective which shows that you are true to yourself and I know you look great, just like you should do with your beautiful mind! Exercise can sure make up for some things, but the gravity is tricky... Tina
Tina, I had such fun reading this. It makes me think of all the times I've noticed body parts drooping and going south. I guess you just have to go with it, the alternative to getting old is not anything I want to think about. Great job. Rated up and funny.
Hi KoffeeKlatch Gals, I am sad to hear that, but I guess gravitation effect us all in the same way, and it helps if we can se it from the funny side also:) You are so right in saying that the most important thing is that we still are among the living and that we are healthy! But a little vanity isn’t wrong either:) Thanks for coming by and I am happy that you enjoyed this! Tina
This is one of the best, down to earth hubs I have read in some time. Hey, so many of us relate to this article. We do need to love ourselves at every age. There is beauty at every stage of our life and we need to accept it. (well, for the most part, except for dying our hair) Thanks for the great hub.
Hi Minnetonka Twin, it is at least some comfort that it’s the same for all of us:) Life is so short and with age I feel that life is spinning faster and faster. Or maybe we are more occupied with our daily life and so we don’t take notice of the small changes that do occur, until it is so obvious that we can’t neglect it any more! But as you say it is so important to love ourselves at every age! To accept it is the first step:) Thank you so much for coming by and I am so happy that you liked this hub! Tina
Hey all you young-uns above, I'm coming up on 80 and I learned from a Pro. I explained it all in (Age Can Be Colorful)
This is a fun yet factual hub. I feel the same about many of the things you mention here. I'm trying to grow old gracefully and with dignity, we'll see what happens :) I enjoyed the read. Thanks for writing on this subject.
Thank you Ginn Navarre! I just read your hub and I love it! I need tips from a Pro:)There is nothing better than a bit of humour to deal with problems we can´t escape! I am so grateful for your input on this hub! Tina
Hi Becky Puetz! We must allow ourselves to joke a little, otherwise it will be even harder:)
To grow old gracefully is my wish too and I am determent to get there! But either way, there is no way back so we better do the best we can! Thanks for your visit, In some strange way it is a comfort that others feel pretty much the same. I meet so many older women that seems to be content and happy with themselves but I guess it is a bit of work to get there:)
Tina
Haha, Tina, you have such good sense of humour. I am aging too, but as long as I have my hubby to age together with, and keep ourselves as healthy as we can, I am fine with it. :)
Hi Ingenira, one must have a sense of humor in order to live in this peculiar world, at least it gets a bit easier:) I also hold on to my hubby and try to look at aging the way you do! We are lucky to have someone besides us and it is a good feeling to age together. But even so, I can’t help but notice the degeneration that comes so slowly but firm. It takes a bit of time to get use to! Thanks for your comment, I really do appreciate your visits!
Tina
Tina...Great hub! I love your attitude....and truthfully, "aging" is an attitude.
Time passes, people change, the body reacts.....we know it's all inevitable.
A calm, peaceful and confident approach is best. We improve what we can, maintain as we should, accept all the rest and BE HAPPY!!! No need for you to be concerned. You are beautiful! UP++
Hi fpherj, Yes, we need to accept aging since it is inevitable! But accepting and knowing isn't the same as to be prepared! I felt that the aging process sneaked up on me and was there one day, staring back at me from the mirror:) I have accepted it more now, or lets say I know the aging process is visible now! I still have some time before I am calm and peaceful about it though. But I will get there! Thanks for your reasonable thoughts about this topic. I will think about your advices and I am so happy for your support of the hub and on a personal plan:)
Tina
I am so glad I've discovered this one of yours, Tina, as I've missed it - I enjoyed the read tremendously - Yes, girls, this is the facts, aging is NOT for sissies....
I try not to look too often at myself in the mirror, and I've decided not to allow any signs of aging to spoil my fun...
I am alive and healthy, and that is what counts... Because I never appreciated my young (beautiful) body - always had an issue with too many things that were not to my fussy liking, created by pictures of models - I've decided to appreciate what I have now, and to make the best of it... BECAUSE it will never get better, but only worse...
I wish I knew this decades ago...
Everything that goes up, must come down, except our age...
Happy birthday, Tina! I believe you are having a lovely day :))
Hi Martie, aging is not for sissies, so true:)) Isn't it sad that we must have those issues with our bodies when we are young! Like you, I wish that I knew back then how beautiful I was but I didn't either. And it seems like I never learn!
I am really trying to think about this the way you do and I think you are absolutely right! It doesn't matter how the body looks, it is life itself and the main thing is to be and stay healthy. But it is one thing to know it is so, and another how it feels inside and I still struggle....
Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me and for sharing your wisdom! I will use your words like a mantra!
Big hugs to you Martie!
Tina
DexisView Level 2 Commenter 13 months ago
Hi Tina, Great hub and fun too. I have a rather large birthday fast approaching and can definitely see some of the tell tale signs looking back at me in the mirror. Just went through a major breakup too which isn't very confidence building when you start questioning all of the age stuff. I'm a fun, upbeat person though and have decided that all of the tell tale signs of age are part of who I am and if someone doesn't like it _______ oh well, you can fill in the blank space!! LOL!!! It's all about fun now; lots of it!.....but.....if you ever find a quick fix for the turkey neck thing......email me and let me know..LOL...I'd love to hear it!! Dexi