How to save time for yourself, make a not-to-do-list!
82Do you find yourself chasing around all day long, trying to do all those things you think you should or must do? And when the hour of the day has ended you fall unconscious to sleep, just to wake up the next day and you are at it again? Then you should think of doing a not-to-do-list which will save you time and energy!
We are often told to organize our life by creating a “to-do-list”. By doing this list you are supposed to be more efficient and all those things you now postpone will be done with dash!? No, I didn’t think so, because that kind of list only makes you focus on those things you still could not do even though you’ve been at it all day. Since we want to do our best, and our life style gives us limited free time we often put too much on such a list which makes it impossible. And since humans tend to focus on the bad things, we do not see those things on the list that we actually have done and for which we should have applauds. Instead we only see those things on the list that we didn’t do, which makes us feel useless and not good enough!
Now I have grown tired of trying to be “efficient, good and perfect”! And what is that any way? To be a perfectionist is more like having a mental disorder, and become too focused on performance directed against either our surroundings or our self. Think about it; who are we efficient, good and perfect for?
I find myself running trough life, trying to do so much different things in a limited time. There are only 24 hours in a day, and I only have one life! I have known for years that I can’t possibly do all the things that I do, and yet I try to do it! And I even do it with a stiff smile because I belief in positive thinking. And yet there are so many more things that I should do or want to do! But now I have come to the conclusion that I am efficient, good and perfect mostly for others sake, not for myself. And instead of having a guilty conscience for the things I don’t have time to do, I’ll stop spending time and energy on some things that I choose not to do anymore. I will do a not-to-do-list!
Here is my Not-do-do-list!
Your list will maybe look totally different, be longer or shorter!
1. Stop asking people “How are you”!
This is a perfect and polite way of starting a conversation with people I meet, and I will continue to do it when I feel like it and with some people. But I will stop asking people this question when I already know the answer! There are too many people who never can say a positive word, and just goes on about their own trouble and diseases. And when that is done and trough with, they continue with their friend’s diseases or their pets diseases. Those people are energy consuming, and I have had enough of that.
2. Ironing
I will minimize the time I spend on ironing clothes. This takes too much of my time! If the clothes need ironing, then I don’t want to keep them! Out they go! I will save some of my husbands shirt though, because I enjoy to see him dressed in a shirt!
3. Arrange parties for people I don’t like!
I will stop invite and spend time with people I don’t like just because my husband is friend with one in a couple! If your spouse wants to spend some time with a friend doesn’t automatically mean that you want to spend time with the friend’s spouse!
4. Always help out when somebody ask me to!
My family has become accustomed to expect help from me whenever they need. It can be small things, like fetching something to them, or bigger things. I will continue to help people and my family, but I will also say no when I don’t want do to the things they ask of me, or if I don’t have the time!
5. Mindlessly channel surfing in the evenings
What a waste of time! Those evenings I found myself doing this, I am too tired to do anything useful or something that I enjoy doing. So from now on, I will turn the TV off and go to bed instead of channel surfing!
6. Buy a dog
I do love dogs and I terrible miss having a dog in the house! Every time I see a dog I just stare at them and a silly smile spreads over my face. And if I have the opportunity to “talk” with a dog I am in heaven for a moment. But, facts stand, I work full time which means that if we had a dog that poor dog would have to be alone for about ten hours a day or stay at someone else’s house during the days. And my evenings are full booked already, so who would have the time to walk or train the dog? Now, I will save myself a constant bad conscience and also prevent a dog from a life in boredom. To buy a dog will have to wait until I have time to care for a dog the way they deserve!
7. Fix the computers
Is there anything more time consuming than to maintain computers? We have four computers in the house, and there is always something wrong with some of them. I don’t mean that I mend them, but they need constant maintenance anyway. And I don’t enjoy fix them. I think it is a waste with precious time. But someone has to do it, and my husband says he can’t, so up until now this has been my problem. But now I found a firm that will come to our house and maintain the computers! Brilliant!
8. Always try to manage by myself!
I will force myself to ask for help from friends and family even though it is hard for me. I am use to manage on my one and also use to do things “my way”.
9. Accept doing too much unpaid volunteer mission!
Since my daughter plays soccer it is expected that also we as parents automatically volunteers to different missions! It can be everything from selling cookies, socks, T-shirts or help out driving the team, attend matches and even stay the night when they play at a distance from home etc. Some of the parents have bought mobile homes and accompany the team. My husband and I will not participate in everything that we are expected to do. I enjoy spending time with my daughter and I find it exiting to watch her play soccer but I do not enjoy or have the time to socialize with the other parents for several days.
10. Hanging out with “friends” who are taking my energy!
Being friend’s means that you have fun in each other’s company and that you provide help when needed, support and encourage each other. But there must be a two-way communication. Both have to get something in return from the intercourse. I will stop seeing those friends who just take my energy year after year. After a meeting with a friend like that I feel sad and empty inside.
11. Eat too much!
I love good food and occasionally I eat too much. But if I do, I must spend more time with fitness training and I only have one hour a day for that activity!
12. Doing more than what is expected of me at work!
I like my work and I am also a big time optimist which means that I often find my self to be behind schedule. Trying to constantly catch up is stressful and affects my energy at home!
13. Do what is expected of me!
I have done a bit of work in order to stop this behaviour and I have come a long way, but there are still things I do just because it is expected of me!
14. Have the home spotlessly clean!
I like it when our home is clean and tidy. I will try to cut down on my own expectations!
15. Attend parties I don’t want to attend!
Those parties are the one that is organized by my workplace. Many people seem to think that a workplace will be better if we socialize in our free time too. I think it is more than enough with 8 hours a day 5 days a week at work. The time that is left I want to spend with my family and friends!
Suggested reading!
- Are you living as you are - or are you living the life that is expected of you?
Some of us isnt living the way we are, but instead we are playing roles and live as it is expected of us. This does no good for anyone, but instead could give rise to boredom and unhappiness.
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What a great idea and oh how do so many need this as we have far to many things to do in a day that could flat out be tossed out saving us a lot of time and misery!
Well Done! :) KATIE
This "not to do list' is a very good idea thougtforce. I've bookmarked it so I can refer to it again, thank you.
Hi Rob Hanlon, It is so nice to meet you here! No, nr 2 is a complete waste of good quality time and should be minimized! But on the other hand, I can´t stand wrinkled chlothes either! I can´t help but wonder how you manage to avoid this chore:))If possible I would like to avoid that chore completely! I am working on it! Thank you so much for your positive feedback!
Katie, you are abolutely right; we do to many unneccesarry things in our limited time! We all are short of time and should do more fun things instead! We need to do things that make us feel good and makes us laugh. Thanks for coming by and for the "well done", coming from you is vere valuable to mee! See you soon!
Carrie, I am so glad you think you can use this idea! You are such a good-hearted person and I picture you as a person who always have time for other people and look after their needs! But you can stop doing other things and get some time for yourself too. Thanks for stopping by and for your encouraging and kind comment! Your visits are always welcome!
We are on exactly the same page with this. At first I was wondering how a Not-To-Do-list will look like, and then… Ohhhh! - another name for my Quit-list. Every one of yours is on my list too. We really do have a lot in common, thoughtforce.
It took me ages to find a suitable answer for my question ‘for who am I efficient, good and perfect’. The harder I’ve tried to prove that I was, the more others took advantage of me. Even after I’ve received the recognition I was desperately looking for, I kept on being Miss Efficient. I became the slave of my own self-image! But she’s dead now, and to my surprise I love myself much more since I became my self-image. I don’t have to be good, efficient and perfect for myself, I am sufficient just as I am, and too bad if I am not what others expect me to be. They should thank their lucky stars I am not a witch.
This was a nice visit in your corner, thoughtforce. Your Not-To-Do list deserves a medal!
You are absolutely right here. Now I think I need to bookmark this because it will be so useful later on!
I avoid 2) simply by putting everything on hangers as soon as it comes out of the tumble-drier, thougtforce - that way any creases (if there are any) drop out, the only ironing I do is absolutely essential (like a shirt) and I use starch to make it easier.
Oh and spend a bit more on the clothes, quality clothes generally need less ironing and last longer :-)
Martie, it isn´t easy to change ingrained habits, but with a little thought and determination you can change yourself. And the benefits you get;finally, I can feel happy with myself without doing those "important" things! It is great, even though it have taken a while to get there! A Quit-list, yes that is the same:) I am so happy for your visit here and for your comment which is so encouraging and in perfect agreement with me:)Take care and simply do those things that make you happy!
Hello, aceatnna, I am delighted that you found it useful, but do it now, do not wait until you have made a bad habit of doing unneccesarry things! Thanks for the useful and it is always a joy to see you in my corner! Take care now!
Bob Hanlon, how good of you to come back! Maybe you have saved me more time with your great advice! And it is like you say, good quality pays off in the long run! Thank you so much for your great advices! See you soon!
I like very much this Hub and I will make my own " not to do list".... ( But I thinks that something I can copy to you, as eat too much). Thanks for sharing: This page is useful and ironic!
Yes you are right Thougtforce in fact I have started already. I too love a clean house but do I really need to vacuum and dust everyday? No! I've also just taken some shirts of my husbands that are really difficult to iron and he rarely wears, down to the charity shop!I did however iron them before I took them!!
Hi thougtforce, great hub no one ever think of a not to do list....awesome! I love number 6 your right it won't be fair to the dog....good call!!!
fucsia, I am delighted if you can use some of the things on my list! I am glad you stopped by, and you are right, the whole thing is rather ironic, because I have created the "must do list" myself! No one has forced me directly to do any of these things, it is only imaginary demands from others. And knowing that, I can allow myself to be a little ironic:) Thanks for your kind comment and I wish you much success with your list!
aceatnna, good for you! But I am a bit worried, what if all men lose their shirts!! But at least you gave them to charity so another man can wear it instead! And you had to be good, efficient and perfect with those skirts until the end! You are definietely a kindhearted women! Thanks for this update on your progress with your list and leave the vacuum now and then:)
Tom, it is always nice to se you in my corner. And nr 6, as a dog owner you know what I mean! I miss having a dog badly, but it wouldnt be a good dog life, and you simply dont put your friend in that position. Thanks for your kind comment and for the "awesome"! See you soon!
Awesome info and very good tips to simplify to a much calmer life.
Thanks for sharing.
Str8up Hookups, I have found that sometimes the simple things in life can be difficult to figure out, because it can cause that we must introduce a new way of thinking! It is not easy to break old habits. But once you have began to change the way of thinking and think the opposite instead of the usual way, you discover how easy it is and how creativity flourishes! Thanks for coming by and take the time to leave a positive comment, I am glad you liked it!
GREAT hub! Wonderful suggestions that I am going to start using asap. I appreciate the tips and loved your hub!!
Ladybird33, I am so happy to see you here, and glad that you got some tips from this so you can get started. It is great that even small adjustments to our daily routine can make a big difference. Thank you very much for your visit, I do appreciate your encouraging comment!
Great idea thougtforce! 'Being perfectionist is more like having a mental disorder'-It really is, my perfectionism would used to get on the way of so many things I could do-what an insanity to live this way!
I have cut on so many 'to do' things and expectations...
I love your part about ironing-it made me smile. I used to iron everything (how draining was that-oh, when I just remember)and now I just don't buy things that require ironing. Also the part about people who drain you/parties-actually,the whole article is awesome. Voted up:)
Ruzica, I am happy to hear that you have cut down on yours to-do things! It is insane how much time and energy we put into things and expectations. And it really wears us out! One can certainly make life difficult! But even now, I must constantly remind myself not to take on to much work or "things" to do! It takes time to change! Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and for the voting!
Great list Thoughtforce, my list is longer though. So many things that are completely unnecessary and take up most of ones time. Will definitely add more to my list and stick with it this time
Hi thougtforce,
Great clear thinking outside of the box, very inspiring. Brilliant idea of a not-to-do-list, I love it! :-)
Excellent write up.xxx
xixi12, with a longer list; think about all the time you will save for your self! You will have the best time of your life now! There is never too late to make changes in life, and as you say, why are we doing all this unnecessary things if we don’t want to! Thanks for your positive comment; it is always wonderful to know that someone else can have benefit from my hub!
Hi Victoria Stephens, I am so happy you enjoyed the hub! Sometimes the most creative we can do is to think outside the box, that is when the magic happens! Thanks for coming by, and leaving both brilliant and up! My best wishes for you!
Some fantastic ideas here, especially the ironing one. I haven't owned an iron for 13 years and don't miss it one bit!
Hello Silver Fish, then you are way ahead of me:))I still have some clothes that need to be ironed, but I am working on it! Thanks for your nice comment, I do appreciate your visits!
What a great idea, never thought of this. I have more than enough to put on the list so I stop worrying about the items.
Hello Peter Owen, and how nice to meet you! It sounds like you do need a not to do list! I hope you do it immidiately, life is to short for just chasing time all hours! I appreciate your visits here and thanks for your comment!
Hi thoughtforce, I really liked this Hub and a lot of the examples you have given. It probably is a very important thing to do -prioritise the important things in your life and start doing less of the things that annoy and frustrate you.
Thanks. Michael.
Hi michael ely, I am happy to meet you! There is always more things to do, than there is time so I have found that this is the only way:) I am glad that you found my advices useful and hope it will help you too! Thanks very much for your comment!
A time-saving not-to-do list?
What a unique and grand idea!
Hi WillStarr, for me it is the only way. A do -to- list will do the opposite and stress me even more:) Try it, there is always some things we do that aren’t necessary! Thanks for coming by!
An excellent idea for a hub! I agree with all of your ideas. I've actually been not-doing all of them! Haha!:)
This was great fun. Iron was on your list. Wow! That polar bear picture was the greatest illustration for so many things. Loved it and loved the article. I still have to live with a to do list. My not to do list would be way too long!
Voted UP and Interesting.
Great Idea, and one that I need to start using myself.
I spend too much time on things that are really not my priorities, but those of others.
Good Hub!
I love that you suggest not planning parties for people you don't like and not attending parties you don't want to. That's been my philosophy for a long time, but many people disagree and think I'm really weird for it.
LOL the manage by myself one gets me all the time. With the husband in the Military I get to manage everything by myself most of the time. I do need to learn to ask for help. Would probably ease a lot of the stress in my life. Love your "not-to-do-list" :) Everyone should have one!
Hehe I laughed a few times reading through the list! I have eliminated 'iron' from my day and that's a good one not to have to bother with any more :)
This was both funny and interesting. Several years ago, I decided that "iron" was a "4-letter word" in the not-nice sense, and I took a clothes basket full of delayed ironing, went through it, and realized that I'd not worn or looked for any of those items in over a year--so I dumped the whole basket into the charity donation locker. Now, if the garment tag says ANY of these things: "dry clean; iron; hand wash or dry flat," those items remain in the store!
I like your not-to-do lists. Your "too many things on the list that don't get done" remind me of writing lists, then finding one or more of the tasks something I did not feel up to doing, and substituted another task...but then I would add the task I DID do onto the list, so I could make myself feel better by having something to cross off said list. Ha ha ha....guess what--that doesn't work--you still get the guilt trip.
Voted up, interesting and funny.
I like your way of thinking and the points you make! Keep the hubs coming! Xx
Hi Sunshine, I can imagine that you have! You strike me as a well organized woman who focus on the things that are important in life! We must make room for some positive activities instead! Thanks Linda, for your support, I am so glad to know you!
Tina
Hi Cyndi10! I like to iron sometimes and if I am in the right mood I can also find it relaxing. But I refuse to have a big lump of clothes that demand something of me every-time I pass by them:))
I suggest that you take away some things first and when you notice that the world will run smoothly even without you doing those things you can continue and make another list with thing you will not do! I hope you will try it! Thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate the comment and the votes!
Tina
Hi Don Bobbitt, it is so easy to get stuck in a pattern once we have started to do certain things. And after a while we will also think that we need to continue to do the things we do.
I hope you will succeed and that you will get more time to do things you like and things that make you feel good! Thank you so much for the votes and the comment!
Best wishes
Tina
Hi Natashalh, Yes, I believe people think I am a bit weird too! But I am a miserable guest at parties if I don't like to be there and I am not so good at small talk either. So I actually think I do them a favor:)) And the same goes for inviting guests that I don't like since it will result in a dull evening where no one has any fun! So stick with it, it is probably a win situation for everybody! Thanks for reading and for letting me know that you think the same. It feels better to know that I am not the only one that is a bit weird!
Best wishes to you
Tina
Hi CassyLu, it is so nice to meet you! I can imagine that it is difficult to be alone with everything when you husband is away! And I can understand that you end up doing everything and hardly ever ask for help. Some of us have difficulties to ask others for help and I know that I would have been very stubborn in your situation and doing everything myself. Even if I know it is really stupid and the only one who will suffer is me. I suggest you start by asking for help with some things and I really hope that you have someone around you that can help you without you feeling that you disturb him/her. Some people are easier to get help from than others, so we better choose someone that makes it easy for us:))
Thanks for the comment and good luck with the not-to-do-list!
Tina
Christy, good for you, there are to many hours spent on ironing! Then you can continue with your not-to-do-list! There are so many unnecessary things we do without really thinking if we need to do them! Good luck to you Christy and thank you so much for reading and for the comment! I appreciate it!
Tina
Hi DzyMsLizzy! Wow, what a great idea to give away the clothes! Baskets with clothes that needs ironing is one thing that is really stressing and I think it also makes the home look messy even if it isn't. I agree totally and who has the time to hand wash clothes these days or dry them flat! No, there are so many great fabrics to choose from so it is easy to find something similar in another fabric.
Ha, ha, It is funny how we can try to fool ourself with those to-do-lists, but it does not work for me it either:)) That type of lists always makes me feel guilty! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, and I really appreciate your input on this subject!
Best wishes,
Tina
Hi Earthy Mother, It is so nice to meet you here and thank you for the positive comment and for reading!
Tina
Rob Hanlon 16 months ago
I never do 2) if I can help it ! :-)
Great Hub on how to prioritise, thank you.