What characterizes a Swede and the Swedish mentality, some unwritten laws on how to behave in Sweden!

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By thougtforce

During my time writing here at HubPages and from my life experience I have found that there are differences in how people behave and their views on different things. And the difference is to some extent due to the country they are born and raised in. The differences are quite small but yet significant and can create both wonder and misunderstandings.

As a Swede, writing on HubPages, I would love to have access to a manual of how other nationalities think and are, that would certainly make it easier for me! But because such a list isn’t available or so easy to come by, I thought that instead I will tell you what characterizes a Swede and what behavior is typical Swedish!

The Swedes, weird people?
See all 4 photos
The Swedes, weird people?
Source: Thougtforce

Writing in another language than your own is a challenge that I can recommend to everyone! I love to meet all these wonderful people from other parts of the world. That is part of the joy with HubPages, and in the HubPages community there are so many kind and talented hubbers. But it also has its drawbacks since reverse or odd sentence structure sometimes creeps into my text. It is also much harder to be funny in another language, because comedy has a lot to do with sentence structure and slang. And slang isn’t included in ordinary school English! I imagine that some have been wondering over my writing and even more upon my topics now and then. But that is how it is, I am aware of that, and slowly I try to melt in more and more but yet try to keep my originality as a Swede. At least that is my intention!

So, for you to better understand, I’ll tell you how a typical Swede is and what is typical for Swedish behaviour! Furter down is also some great videos that says it all! Do not miss them!

Sweden!

Sweden -
Sverige
[get directions]

Sweden is located in northern Europe. The pin shows Stockholm that is the capital of Sweden.

Sweden!

Sweden -
Sverige
[get directions]

The Swedish mentality!

Ake Daun, a professor of ethnology at Stockholm University have written a book; Swedish mentality (1989) which is a gold mine for someone interesting in this issue. He has examined how the Swedes are perceived by other nationalities and come up with the following:

Swedes are perceived as chilly and distancing. Many of those who responded to the survey say that they have great difficulties to understand the Swedish temperament. The Swedes are also perceived as “socially closed” and “spiritually empty”. And because they are often quiet they are also perceived as smug!

In another study done by the Swedish National Board, immigrants from Chile, Iran, Turkey and Poland expressed laudatory words about equality, solidarity, freedom and sound regulatory. The only thing they had trouble with was just the Swedes! Their opinions about the Swedes was: “heart is missing” sluggish mind”, “cowardly, cold, shy people, and lack of close encounters”.

So, as a summery, here is the typical Swede: socially closed, spiritually empty, their hearts are missing, they have a sluggish mind, they are cowards, cold, shy and hold a distance!!

Wonderful people, the Swedes, don’t you think? Who wouldn’t want to meet such a person? And why am I pointing this out for you?

When I read this it struck me as very interesting! Being Swedish, at first I couldn’t see this at all! But slowly it began to make some sense to me why they responded this way, and I will try to explain! The following concerns situations when a Swede meets a stranger; I do think that we have a much more open and warmer connection with people whom we know.

Is your view of the Swedes consistent with the description above?

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Photos of Sweden and Swedish music!

Are Swedes inaccessible?
Are Swedes inaccessible?
The private zone is important in Sweden!
The private zone is important in Sweden!
Be aware of Swedes in an elevator!
Be aware of Swedes in an elevator!
Source: Thougtforce

Some facts about Sweden

Sweden is the largest country in Northern Europe

Sweden is the third largest country in Western Europe

The forest area in Sweden is 53%

An attempt to explain Swedish behavior!

Socially closed

In Sweden we have a proverb that every Swede knows; “Talking is silver, silence is gold”. We believe it is polite to listen and a way to show respect. We do not like to interrupt the one who speak and it is also true that we probably unconsciously seeks consensus in a conversation. Although we may disagree with some of the things the other person says we avoid open confrontation with strangers in the longest. But I can understand that to have a conversation with somebody who just nods and say yes isn’t much of a conversation! For two Swedes this isn’t a problem, we just take turns talking and we also understand the possible silent message that the other person disagree.

We are also very private and “want to be left alone” from strangers. We have an invisible “private zone” of about one meters radius and if a stranger step over that invisible lines if there is no need for it, and come to close, we feel very uncomfortable and even threatened. This doesn’t apply when there is limited space; then it is OK to step over the invisible line! In the company of strangers most of us feel inclined to talk so maybe that is why we are considered to be socially closed.

Unwritten laws

There are some unwritten laws that apply to this and that you should know about if you are going to Sweden:

Don’t look direct at another person in an elevator or on the subway. It is quite alright to look at anything else; most people viewing down on their shoes or read the commercial on the walls. This is even more important if you have to stand within the private zone of somebody. To look direct at a person you stand up close to is considered to be cheeky, rude, and suggests an aggressive or sexual approach from you.

Do not say “Hi” to a stranger unless you have a good reason, or if you do, speak about the weather or that the bus is late or something similar. The typical Swede doesn’t normally start conversation with strangers and just rambles on about this and that.

Do not take a seat in a location next to a Swedish on the bus, theatre or subway if there are plenty of seats available anywhere else. If you do; a Swedish will feel uncomfortable and become suspicious, convinced of that you are up to something bad! There is that “private zone again”

Learn how to stand in line properly! The Swedes are the masters on standing in line and we wait for our turn with great patience. Do not try to squeeze in, or to stand to close to the one in front of you. If you stand too close to the person in front of you leading to a body contact, you will cause a very unpleasant experience for a Swede and you will certainly get a angry look back at you and the Swede will try to move further away from you by taking a step in some available direction. But the Swede will almost certainly hold his/her place in line. Remember, we are very patient and we will keep our place in line!


More facts about Sweden!

 
 
Capital
Stockholm
Currency
Swedish Krona SEK
Population
9,4 million
Government
Constitutional monarchy, Parliamentary democracy
Parliament
The Riksdag 349 seats
National Day
6 June
Area
174,000 square miles
Highest point
Kebnekaise

Show feelings

I am afraid that there is the same here. The Swedes do not show their feelings in front of strangers if it can be avoided! If we for some reason don’t like a person, we show our dislike by simply avoiding that person. We show our dislike by not saying "Hi", we will look down or if possible, just avoid meeting that person. But as the other person you will never know why, because there isn’t going to be an explanation or a confrontation, unless you have really made the Swede angry!

To show aggression in a Swedish group is such a taboo. Getting angry in a way that it shows is a one way straight out of joint! You must know how to behave and restrain yourself or you will be regarded as a man/woman without self control.

We do not cry in public, or if we do we try to stop crying, or hide that we do. Crying is mostly seen as a sign of weakness or that we can’t control ourselves. Laughing in public is OK though, that is very common. I can’t really tell if we laugh more or less than other nationalities. We are not so good at showing warm feelings to people who we don’t know so well. To show feelings complies mostly with relationships among friends and family.

We have no problem to talk about feelings or sex

The Swedes have no problem with public discussions about feelings or sex, in those cases we are very open minded and it takes a lot to make a Swede embarrassed.

We believe that the society should provide safety for us

This can be seen as a dependent for the government and that we blindly obey the government. But I see it more as we have confidence in something that actually work, our respect for the authorities will not be a fear of someone who decides above our heads, but more a feeling rooted in an experience that we made a collective agreement with the community! Democracy is very important and deeply rooted in all Sweden.

Sporadic contact with relatives

Compared to other nations, we have a more sporadic contact with parents which are something that many immigrants see as callousness.

Feminism and equality

Feminism is strong in Sweden and equality has come a long way. Some argue that gender equality has gone a little bit too far, and if man and women become too alike it will kill the eroticism between the genders.

The Jante Law or the Law of Jante!

And one can’t forget to mention the Law of Jante or as we say the Jante Law! Jante Law is actually a fictional law formatted by a Norwegian author who has had a great impact in Sweden. Aksel Sandemose was a Norwegian writer and he wrote in Norwegian but grew up in Denmark. Jante formulate in words the unwritten law that says you should not be different or think that you are better than anyone else in any way. Jante was of great importance in the past when most people lived in rural areas than today when the Law of Jante has lost its importance increasingly. Some say it is the downfall of Sweden and instead of the Law of Jante we will have a mentality that says, look out to yourself only and don’t care about others which is the opposite of Jante. But the law has also been very negative and sort of pressed people down by making them think that they are not good at anything. Anyway, Jante Law may be on its way out and be very weak now, but it has yet influenced the Swedish style of today and is the bases for the Swede’s restraint.

There is the Swede for you even if I do not think we are that difficult to be around. Personally I like the Swedish way of being polite, to not seek trouble if it isn’t necessary, the view of equality and great care for others. The thing we may lack is the ability to show our feelings and our warm hearts more easily.

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This video says it all!

Some great humor!

Comments

Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 16 hours ago

Hi Roger,

Like you, I'm an American. But I see WW II a bit differently. Swedish neutrality was more complex than Swiss neutrality, for example.

Sweden has a relatively small population, currently just under 10 million. On the other hand, Hitler did not want to waste scarce resources fighting even a small population of pissed-off Vikings.

All things considered, official neutrality was a reasonable compromise. Sweden managed to avoid getting their cities reduced to rubble, again. And there was one real Swedish hero of WW II, Raoul Wallenberg, who saved the lives of thousands of Hungarian Jews, by issuing fake travel documents.

Let's look at the moral issue. The draconian Treaty of Versailles set the stage for WW II. Sweden sat on the sidelines during WW I. Unlike France and the US, it bears no blame for a Right-wing psychopath coming to power in Germany. BTW, this was predicted by the famous economist, John Maynard Keynes, in his book, The Economic Consequences of the Peace.

The most important job of a government is to look out for the interests of its citizens. For nearly 200 years, the Swedish government has done an admirable job in that respect.

The history of Finland during WW II is also interesting. During the Winter War (1939 - 1940) and the Continuation War, the Finns were simply fighting for their survival. Their Faustian bargain with Hitler was a part of that.

Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 16 hours ago

Hi Roger,

Like you, I'm an American. But I see WW II a bit differently. Swedish neutrality was more complex than Swiss neutrality, for example.

Sweden has a relatively small population, currently just under 10 million. On the other hand, Hitler did not want to waste scarce resources fighting even a small population of pissed-off Vikings.

All things considered, official neutrality was a reasonable compromise. Sweden managed to avoid getting their cities reduced to rubble, again. And there was one real Swedish hero of WW II, Raoul Wallenberg, who saved the lives of thousands of Hungarian Jews, by issuing fake travel documents.

Let's look at the moral issue. The draconian Treaty of Versailles set the stage for WW II. Sweden sat on the sidelines during WW I. Unlike France and the US, it bears no blame for a Right-wing psychopath coming to power in Germany. BTW, this was predicted by the famous economist, John Maynard Keynes, in his book, The Economic Consequences of the Peace.

The most important job of a government is to look out for the interests of its citizens. For nearly 200 years, the Swedish government has done an admirable job in that respect.

The history of Finland during WW II is also interesting. During the Winter War (1939 - 1940) and the Continuation War, the Finns were simply fighting for their survival. Their Faustian bargain with Hitler was a part of that.

Roger 24 hours ago

That being said, I like Swedes sense of restraint and openmindedness. As an American I know we are arrogant, enthocentric; we see things as black & white- too much sometimes. Swedes are the opposite: stand for something and be ready to back it up. That's why I like Finns: they have no problem telling you to your face if your a jerk.

Roger 24 hours ago

I appreciate your efforts, but once being married to a Swede I have found them to be opportunistic, self serving, disloyal, amiguous and sheepish. As a country Sweden can be relied upon politically for nothing. In WWII you provide refuge for thousands of Jews, yet you help the Nazis by letting them use your railroads and ballbarings while provding intelligence to the allies. How do you justify that? I don't trust people who will run when the wind changes. Stand for something.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 2 weeks ago

Hi catatonia and how interesting! Maybe there is a genetic component also! Thank you so much for telling your story and I hope you found this article useful for you. I guess there are many who can have some "Swedish behavior" since so many Swedes has emigrated to America! Your comment made me think about my dad's many cousins in America, but sadly I don't know their names and there is no one to ask either.

Best wishes

Tina

catatonia 2 weeks ago

It is funny, I am "half-Swedish" with my father being the first American generation not to speak Swedish, and almost everything you write applies to me. It used to drive my mother, of Scott's decent, crazy that I responded so differently to stimulation, social and emotional. I think there must be a genetic component to it.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 4 weeks ago

Hi iamaudraleigh! No, I believe mehrkart is the name of the person who uploaded the video to Youtube. I am sorry to say that I don't know the name of the musicians but I really like the music too! It is one type of Swedish music even if it isn't so common these days, it is more what we call folk music but I think it goes so well with the photos. It is great to hear that your father liked it here and I hope you will get the opportunity to visit sometime!

Thanks iamaudraleigh, I appreciate your visit and the vote very much!

Tina

iamaudraleigh profile image

iamaudraleigh Level 6 Commenter 4 weeks ago

Is Mehrkert the name of the musicians that play in the first video? I love the music!!!

My Dad went to Stockholm several years ago on business and enjoyed it vey much.

People are people. Your descriptions did not surprise me about the people who live there. However, I would be interested in going ther :)

Great hub...voted up!

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 6 weeks ago

Hi Made! I am so glad that you liked this hub Made, it feels special to hear it from someone who have lived in Sweden! Yes, we do the best we can with this beautiful language, and at least we get a lot of practice:))

Thank you for the votes and for reading, I hope you have a great day in Finland today!

Tina

Made profile image

Made 6 weeks ago

Wow Tina! How could I have not been reading this hub before?! I have lived seven years in Stockholm, and because of the fact that I'm Swedish speaking, I feel much more connected to Swedes than to Finns. I can agree that it's a big challenge to write in English. Voted up and much more! :)

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 6 weeks ago

Hi Jools! I have never been to England myself but the English people I have met has been very polite and I feel that we have some similarities. The English people I have met haven't been stiff people, but I have always heard that description about the typical English behavior. It is funny how some things almost becomes a worldwide truth even if it is impossible to categorize a whole nation in that way.

Thank you for your kind words about my English, it makes me very happy to hear since it is important to get it right. I must admit that it is a bit of a struggle but I also notice that it becomes easier with time and practice!

Thanks for the wonderful comment and for your support! I always appreciate your visits,

Tina

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 6 weeks ago

Hi Thomas! Oh, that is quite good, Wallenberg and ABBA are great ambassadors for Sweden! I think personal space is important for many people even though the required length can vary a bit between nations. I think you will be just fine in Sweden and socialize well with the Swedes! I think you are a very nice person, with many intriguing thoughts so it would be so interesting to hear what you think about Sweden and the Swedes if you come here. Thank you so much for reading and for the great comment!

Best wishes to you Tomas

Tina

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 6 weeks ago

Hi Busy Designer! Interesting, and I agree with you about the differences between nations. I am so glad that you found this article useful and I really hope you will like your stay in Sweden when you visit! And I also hope that you will like the Swedes! It sounds like you will fit in nicely! And please come back and tell me what you thought of Sweden if you do visit, or move here permanently. I believe that Sweden is a great country to live in, but of course I am partial:)

Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, it is very interesting to hear other opinions on this subject!

Tina

Jools99 profile image

Jools99 Level 7 Commenter 6 weeks ago

Wow Tina, what an interesting hub. I have never been to Sweden nor have I met any Swedes but at least now, should I visit, I will know what is considered polite behaviour etc. I am English and I think we can be pigeonholed as having that English reserve, stiff upper lip etc but like people in all countries, not everyone is the same.

Your English is excellent by the way, I think it is tremendous that you write so well in a language not your own - not many of us are capable of that. Voted up, this is a very informative, interesting hub.

ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches Level 7 Commenter 6 weeks ago

Christina...

Awesome article! I am embarrassed to say that prior to reading this, my notions of Sweden were confined to Raoul Wallenberg and ABBA. I'm not Swedish but I do ascribe to the notion of personal space issues (3 feet is good)!!

When I, one day, make it to Sweden...this article will be in my pocket so I do not inadvertently makes an ass out of myself. (I like to do that advertently when ever possible!

Take care!

Thomas

Busy Designer profile image

Busy Designer 6 weeks ago

Hello,Tina!Im so glad I found your Hub-it was fun and pleasure to read it.I travelled accros Europe few yrs back and I have to say that one can clearly see the differences between the nations.I was born and brought up in Poland but I felt some kind of yearning and was "drawn" towards Ireland so-I moved here and my yearning has wanished.Now for some reason I yearn for Sweden-hence looking for some informations about your country.Reading your article was a bliss to me-I have a mentality of a Swede-how comforting was the fact that there are actually people who behave like me:)Irish are very talkative and love to party but I was always more reserved.I will do my best to visit beautifull Sweden some time soon.Thank you so much for taking time to write that dazzling piece!You triggered my hunger to learn moore about Sweden-thank you:)

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 7 weeks ago

Hi Lukas, You have a good point there and I don't consider Swedish people as cold and closed either. But I can understand why some might see us that way, and as you say it depends on what we compare with. We all have different preferences and we look upon others from our own reality.

It is very important to have these differences in mind when we meet people from other countries and we need to have an open mind.

It seems very difficult to get people from different parts of the world to accept and understand each other but hopefully it will get better with time. The globalization is steadily growing and it might help in the long run. I really hope that our children will be more openminded than my generation is. I constantly see and hear so many remarks about people from other countries and it saddens me.

It takes some time for all of us to figure out who we are and I can understand that it was even more difficult for you, being Sweede-Greek since there are some differences between the two.

How to categorize people from different countries is a difficult subject but I think it is very interesting too.

Thanks for your comment and for adding your experience to this hub! I appreciate it

Tina

Lukas 7 weeks ago

I do not agree that swedes are closed and cold people. It depends on how you look at it. Someone else might think that ppl living in Mediterranean are far too much open, maybe even annoying or insulting.

All I'm saying is that there are different points of view. We can all try to understand each other and not to insult, but try to live in this multicultural society. Fear and inability to understand and accept different people leads to racism and such.

I have experienced a lot of contradiction within me being swede-greek. I have tried to understand who I am by trying to see what other ppl think of me, but ppl are not ready or they are unable to judge so they only make things worse. The best thing for me was to adapt and move smartly within my boundaries...the ones I set.

There is so much fear out there that I am seriously concerned with what set of values our kids are gonna grow up. Of course, we will try to prepare them for the world our there, but it is only natural that one influences another...

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 2 months ago

Hi Farj, I do agree with you and it is a big generalizations of a Swede or the Swedish people. But some of this behavior is still there and it does influence how many of us behave even if we don't want it to. You have a good point there, when you say that it is a common pattern that we often think about what others may think about us. How I have struggled to get rid of that kind of thoughts and I still do. Even though I know that it doesn't matter and nobody than myself can know how I feel or why I behave the way I do.

When I read your comment I see that you went over all this in your thoughts at almost exactly the way that I did when I first read that article by Ake Dunn. At first I thought, no why are they saying that? The people in Sweden are really nice people! But when I went through it all, it started to make some sense and I could understand why people from other countries interpreted us this way. It really is a bit funny that we behave like this, more or less, without even thinking about it. But I still think we are really great and nice people and I like the typical Swedish behaviour in many ways. Thanks for this wonderful comment and for sharing your thoughts on this. I am glad you liked it!

Tina

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 2 months ago

Hi EP, I am sorry to hear that you meet so many Swedes who behave like that! A characterisation of a typical Swede is indeed stereotypic and there are of course the whole spectra of different people in Sweden as rude, bossy, evil, kind and calm people. But since you have met so many in different places maybe the typical Swede is changing? I must say that I see the same behaviour in some younger people, and maybe it is because of this constant chase for time. Everything is supposed to go so fast and we have hardly time to look at each other these days. Our way of living has really changed over the 5 past decades and the typical Swede have probably changed too. Thank you, for sharing your view of the typical Swede.

Tina

Farj 2 months ago

Its intresting for sure, its big generalisations and its more of how swedes weer used to be seen. I still have someof that in me, i can interupt when people talk, but then i can feel extremly rude. We do joke alot almost to much, but then you have gained some kind of trust as we dont wak around like clows and joke with everyone all day long. We are seen as Liberal when it comes to sex, there is this video cartoon clip of sex in diffrent countries, like in australia, the man has his nude girl as a beer table, sweden its an orgy. Not true. It started with a nude movie scene in the 50's? we were the first to show that and we were early with porn and even made humoristic porn, today we arent more liberal then anyone else, I had an greek gf and she was always like oh you talk about penis in the news paper, so typical swedish, while they have sex adds and sex phone number on their regualr tv as commersial breaks and prostitution is legal. Jante law, i dont think we mind succesful people, but i guess we dont like when people keep reminding us that they are so great all the time. True i dont think we do look at ppl still, i sure dont, unless you come up and talk to me stranger or not, then i look you straight in the eyes, its how i am brought up, but if your just somewhere near like in an elevator i dont stare at you, short glance is ok, but if you see it, i can feel abit embarrassed, mostly it feels like other people think i am checking you out, while i may not, but better to avoid looking.

Talking to strangers varies, on the airport i did for no reason at all, but here back home i dont, i dont see any reason for it unless it would brighten someones day, but they would probably think i am crazy more like it. You see the common theme, its often what others might think, we dont like to argue in public unlike the greeks for example, its more we will discuss this when we get home.

we are calm and relaxed, and laid back, but we do have the other side as well, but we dont yell unless we have good reason to, like why bother, it dosent make things better. Showing feelings i think we do, depends on what it is, but showing a dislike for someone is correct i think, again why bother, if i dont like the person then i avoid him/her, there is no reason to go up and say that and make that person feel bad, its enough that i dislike the person. but if i like someone or think someone is great, funny, good looking i can say that. i show if i am happy, mad, in love or whatever feeling i may have, but maybe in a more swedish way???

democracy and goverment..well today thats totally messed up, sweden were proud over haveing great rights for workers, those who had it the worst had it good and that it was like we all looked out for one another, today its not so, its more greedyness, step on those at the bottom to gain more yourself and yes i dont like this at all, but most swedes do tho as well its what sweden has voted for. much correct but drawn to the edge?? fun read :-)

EP 2 months ago

Interesting article. However, I must disagree with this statement: "We do not like to interrupt the one who speak and it is also true that we probably unconsciously seeks consensus in a conversation."

I have lived in Sweden for the past 6 years and I see people constantly interrupting without any regard for someone who is speaking. I maybe speaking to someone at work and along comes someone and just barges in as though I'm hardly there. And this happens everywhere, be it at work, in public places, social situation,etc.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 2 months ago

Hi mikeydcarroll67, nice to meet you! I am glad to hear that the swedes you have met talks to you! There are all types of Swedes and you can probably meet many different Swedes, from silent to more talkative people. It gives a positive signal if someone is trying to learn the language and the people you meet will probably be lenient and more willing to speak to you. Most Swedes can understand and speak English, so that will work too:) Thanks for sharing your experience in this area, it is so interesting to get different views of this, I appreciate it!

Tina

mikeydcarroll67 profile image

mikeydcarroll67 Level 5 Commenter 2 months ago

My experience with Swedes primarily has been limited. Usually I state that I am learning some Swedish and they seem more likely to actually talk to me in return.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

Thank you Larry Fields for the joke:)) Lol! Language is difficult and important and there can be misunderstandings in so many ways! I can really associate to this an I appreciate your comment very much,

Tina

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

Hi Samson, No I don't think I can! I know many associate Swedes with people with blond hair, and there are indeed people with blond hair here, but in my opinion there are many with ashblond and brown, darkbrown and red hair too. Apart from hair color I really don't know. I don't think that we look like the typical picture of the Vikings:) We come in many different shapes and sizes and I can not see anything typical that would differ us from others in Northern Europe. It is an interesting question though and I had to think about it for a while. Maybe someone not native from Sweden would be able to describe the typical Swede better than me! Thanks for coming back Samson,

Tina

Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 3 months ago

Tina, I hope that you don't mind another joke.

As everyone knows, Sweden has been mostly neutral for nearly 200 years. However there was a Swedish aviator who volunteered to fly for the British. He shot down a sufficient number of German airplanes to qualify as an ace.

Many years later, he was interviewed on the radio in the US. He was asked about his 'closest call'.

Ace: I flew through a cloud over France. When I came out the other side, there was a Fokker in front of me, a Fokker to the right of me, and another Fokker to the left of me.

Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen, a Fokker was a type of German airplane.

Ace: No, these fokkers were Messerschmidts!

Samson117 profile image

Samson117 3 months ago

i forgot to mention this in my previous comment, but i was also curious about the physical traits common among most swedes (if there are any). i don't suppose this is something that you would be able to help me with?

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

Hi Samson117, how interesting! Maybe your Swedish heritage shines through or maybe you have grown up with some Swedes who have influenced you a bit? Or maybe you are just yourself! This is a very stereotypic picture of a Swede and I guess there are Americans who are like this too. We need listeners among us, it is an important role and everyone can't take all the space and talk:) I am so glad you liked this and thanks for the interesting comment! I enjoyed to write this article and did a lot of thinking while I did!

Tina

Samson117 profile image

Samson117 3 months ago

this is an awesome article! I am part swedish although i was born in america. people think i'm very stuck up sometimes because i don't like initiating a conversation and i don't always like having conversations with strangers. even with my friends i usually like to listen to them talk

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

MJFenn! You have a good point there about the northern/southern Europe and as a Swede I feel I have more in common with people from northern Europe than the southern Europe. It all depends of what we compare with because there are also differences between a Norwegian and a Swede and a Danish and a Swede even though the differences are really small! Therefore I also think there are small differences between east and west Europe too, even though I haven't thought so much about it. Interesting topic and although we all are humans, it is useful to reflect over the differences sometime! I hope you enjoyed your stay here in Sweden. Thanks very much for your comment,

Tina

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

Nell, I also see English people as polite and I feel very comfortable with those I have met. So, I think you are right about that this behavior can be regarded as a bit stiff and stuck up since I recognised it and it felt normal to me. That should mean that the English are much like us:)

I am also glad we don't have Euro here, it feels more safe to be able to control our own currency when it is needed. Our countries are not so far apart but I have never been to England either. My parents traveled there once and became totally in love with your country and the people there so I have heard many positive things about England. I think we have much in common when it comes to behavior and I still hope to visit England someday. Lets see who of us that travels first, and remember to tell me if you come here!

Thanks for your interesting comment Nell!

Tina

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MJFenn Level 3 Commenter 3 months ago

Very interesting Hub. I have been to Sweden, as it happens. Maybe it's sometimes seen as a northern/southern European division of mentalities, but in a Hubpage I wrote about Gothenburg and local psychologies (how qualified I was to write, I don't know) I tried to suggest there was an east/west element also, that is often overlooked.

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thougtforce Hub Author 3 months ago

Tammy, Thank you for saying that! It still is a challenge to write in another language but I feel that it is getting easier with time and practice! And it is fun! But even so, I try hard to stay away from bigger spelling mistakes since I know it will totally ruin it for the readers. It was very difficult in the beginning and the first hubs took forever to write:)

I would never have meet all you lovely people if I hadn't tried. And now your comment warms my heart! Thanks Tammy,

Tina

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago

Fascinating! Living in England we are not that far away from you, so maybe thats why the English always have the reputation of being aloof, or stuck up in some ways, when we are really just polite and keep to ourselves like Swedish people do. I always wanted to travel to Sweden, Norway and Denmark, because I have always seen those countries as completely different from the rest of Europe. We English also didn't want to get involved with the Euro, and thank goodness for that, especially now its causing nothing but trouble. I was really interested to see just calm and nice the Swedish are, and that to me is so polite, I think I would love to live over there! It sounds like a fascinating country, nell

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tammyswallow Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago

Fanatastic hub! I commend you for writing your wonderful hubs in a second language. That is admirable. This is a well written glimpse into the cutlture of Sweden. I love learning new things. Great job!

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi Blaiche, I am not sure what you mean by "things like this" but I guess you mean the Swedes behavior in general? I can imagine that it takes a while to figure it all out and even longer to feel that you are a part of it, but that must be the same in many countries. Give it some more time and you have so much to win when you speak the language. And most of us are really nice people:))

Thanks for your comment and I appreciate if you come back and explain how you mean!

Tina

Blaiche 4 months ago

I learned this language and became pretty fluent with it tried to immerse myself in the culture as much as I could before I studied abroad there. Then I started talking to swedes mrore and seeing things like this and then i realiseed...I don't think I can survive this...whole thing

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Daisy, the Norwegian guy where right in that our Midsummer celebration is an ancient pagan tradition although we do not run around naked in the woods or hop over bonfires! :-)))

But Midsummer Eve is a special night which according to history was associated with both supernatural forces and magic.

You have probably seen more of our country than I have, I have not been further north than the city Umea! For some reason I am much more familiar with the south part of Sweden.

Daisy, I thank you so much for sharing your experiences from Sweden here, it is always interesting to know how people from other countries experience the things that are so familiar and natural to me. I hope you get the chance to come back here:)

Tina

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Daisy Mariposa Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina -

Here's another thing that made me laugh on Midsommardagen. They were interviewing a guy from Norway on television who was visting Sweden. Apparently this guy associated the Midsommardagen celebrations with Sweden's ancient pagan past. The reporter asked him if he expected to take part in the celebrations. He said "I guess so, but I hope I won't be asked to run around in the woods naked and jump over bonfires."

I really enjoyed my time in Sweden. I had little idea about that country before I came there - I just imagined tall blonde people.

We took a cruise up Lake Malaren, visited some islands off the southeast coast, and visited Visby in Gotland during Medeltidsveckan. We also flew up to Kiruna to see the midnight sun, and then on a whim drove up to Treriksröset to stand at the triple point between Norway, Finland and Sweden. We felt we learned something about the country and its people, and felt sad when we had to return to the U.S.

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Daisy, what a great definition of The Jante Law, and you can imagine what The Jante Law has done to the Swedish people during the years! Like i said, now days the Law has less importance then before, but it is still present and influence how peoples behave and think. I really should include your definition in the hub! It says it all and I am so glad you took the time to write it down here.

I think you did right by joining the dance around the maypole on midsommardagen! It is correct that the dance is for children but many grown ups use that as an excuse to hop around and dance the silly dances.

Most Swedes love it, and those who don't dance, enjoy the music and have fun watching the others. I have written a hub about the Midsommer celebration in Sweden since it is very traditional and an important day in Sweden. There are also videos with adults dancing "The little Frogs" so you can see that you are not the only one:))

Thanks Daisy, I loved this comment too!

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

kms360, Great, I look forward to it:) Thanks for returning and letting me know!

Tina

Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina - Here's a definition of Jantelagen that an American woman who lived in Sweden created to explain it to other Americans visiting Sweden:

You shall not think that you are special.

You shall not think that you are of the same standing as us.

You shall not think that you are smarter than us.

Don't fancy yourself as being better than us.

You shall not think that you know more than us.

You shall not think that you are more important than us.

You shall not think that you are good at anything.

You shall not laugh at us.

You shall not think that anyone cares about you.

You shall not think that you can teach us anything.

Here's another funny thing that happened to us in Sweden. We heard about midsommerdag on the television, and decided to join the celebration in Stockholm at Skansen. So at one place they had this large maypole, with people, adults and children dancing around it, so we joined in. Then we realized it was just for children, and a few adults were there just to help their little children. We were laughing at our mistake, and we had fun joining the celebrations.

kms360 4 months ago

I will definitely let you know about what Dayne thinks of your Hub. I hope he has an opportunity to read it soon. He's working for a short time in Scotland as we speak. I'm going to re-read your Hub myself. And I enjoyed the videos you added for affect. Kat

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi km360, sounds interesting, please tell me what he thought about the somewhat stereotypic description of a Swede! There are many Swedish students studying abroad for one or more years and I can imagine that it is a bit difficult to "melt in" when only staying there during a shorter period. Even though there are some minor differences between people from the Nordic European countries I think we have much in common too. It is no problem for a Swede to understand Norwegian, at least if they come from the southern parts of Norway, and Danish is pretty easy to understand.

I am glad you visited my hub and I appreciate your comment very much!

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Daisy Mariposa, Your comment is so accurate and describes Swedes in a perfect way:)) I can almost see you there, first in front center, all alone, while the Swedes hesitated and waited up against the wall. It is so funny to hear you describe it:)) Some of them might have been shy, but I don't think everyone was. I think the reason for their hesitation is the typical Swedish behavior that partly comes from The Law of Jante, that says that we should not think that we are better than others and we should not put ourselves first or show off in front of others. In a group of strangers we usually take some extra time to see how others do and make a move when we feel it is appropriate to do so. You didn't do anything wrong, someone has to be first but I am not surprised you was the first to move!

Thanks for this fantastic comment and for sharing your experience of Swedes:) You must have so many funny memories from your stay here!

Tina

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km360 4 months ago

My new boyfriend is half Swedish. I'm sure we'll have something interesting to talk about after I ask him to read this interesting hub. Years ago in college, there were some students in my classes from Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. they stayed mostly to themselves. It was sort of difficult to understand them but I thought they had to be bold to travel outside their countries to attend college. Good read.

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Daisy Mariposa Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina -

Here is some more on the impression I got of Swedes when I lived there. They seem more shy, and less aggressive than Americans. Here's a small example. I usually take ballet classes in the U.S. Since I was working in a suburb of Stockholm for half a year, I decided to try to find a place which would give lessons to adult students. I found this studio, Balletskola, on Västmannagatan street.

In ballet classes in the U.S. (as elsewhere) the first part of the class is ballet practice while holding onto a bar which goes around the room. Then follows "center floor exercizes", where students line up in rows, and do their exercizes without the support of the bar. In the U.S., students run up immediately and try to get in the front row so that they have a better view of the teacher. So at this Swedish studio, I got up to the front center as fast as I could. Then I was surprised to notice that all the Swedish students were still up against the walls - I thought I had done something wrong! Then, the teacher (who was from Bulgaria) had to coax the Swedish students to come out on the floor - they were too shy!

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Thanks htodd! I appreciate your visit and the comment!

Best wishes

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hej Daisy, It is great to meet you! Yes we mostly say so, that we work with someone. We can work for a company but not for a person! And ”lagom” is a word that sum up both Swedes and Sweden! We are the country of lagom, everything we do is, and should be, lagom or just enough:)) I hope you enjoy your stay here in Sweden, you seem to have learned the most vital thing anyway! Thank you for reading and adding your experience of Sweden to this hub, it is so useful to hear others opinions!

Best wishes,

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi Larry Fields, that is also my experience with people from some countries and it is good to be aware of the differences. It is very uncomfortable to have someone you don't know standing to close so it really can be interpreted as pushiness. Thanks for adding your thoughts on this and for reading!

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi Sunshine, It is great to hear that you liked this one, and I know you will behave just right, no matter who you meet! You are so good at socialising and I am sure that you can get a smile from every Swede:)) Thanks Linda, you are a great friend,

Tina

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htodd 4 months ago

Great insights ..I will take care of that ..Thanks

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Daisy Mariposa Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

Hej, Tina!

Your Hub brought back many memories for me. Tack! My boyfriend and I spent six months working in Stockholm several years ago.

We learned that one doesn't work *for* someone -- one works *with* someone. We also learned the concept of lagom -- just enough. One should work hard, but not too hard; eat enough, but not too much, etc. If at a party and the snacks are in a common bowl, take enough for yourself, but not so much that others won't have their share.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your Hubs.

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Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina, my social distance is probably about the same as yours. For people from some of the Latin American countries, social distance is considerably shorter, and I have had to make some adjustments, because of that fact.

Anyway, social distance may explain an English expression that means pushiness. Example:

He is very "in your face" when he expresses his political opinions.

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Sunshine625 Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina! What a fantastic hub! Very creative and if I'm ever in Sweden or meet someone from Sweden in the USA I'll be aware of their proper etiquette! Superb!! Voting up and pimping!:)

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi Alastar! The Jante Law has really had an impact on the Scandinavian countries and parts of the Jante Law is good. It is great to hear that you found Scandinavians to be good people! The Jante Law has given us a view that people are equal and also given us a humble attitude. But for some reason it has also been used for holding people down. Many children have been brought up with the knowledge that they shouldn't think they are something special or think that they are good or better than others. To emphasize their own person or achievements have been regarded as a big sin. It is very deeply ingrained in us but it finally is about to decrease. I wish we can go on a middle way, that we can preserve our view of other people but also learn how to have better self-esteem and praise ourselves and our children a little more.

Yes, the taxes are high but I think we get value for our taxes also, it is a way of living, we provide for those unlucky people who have a hard time, are ill or unemployed. It is a savety net that I like. And the safety net is for everyone. But of course, I would want to have more of my earned money for myself now since I have a job.

I am glad you liked your time in Denmark Alastar as well as the Scandinavian people. But I know how it is, home is always number one, even though it can be tempting to emigrate!

Thank you for reading Alastar. Your comment is always very much appreciated by me and always interesting!

Tina

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Alastar Packer Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina as you know I spent some time in Scandanavia and the Jante law was in full effect. I've never gotten to know or been around a finer culture or people. As amatter of fact many friends wanted me to emigrate to Denmark and go to work for Rockwell Int. It was quite tempting, but in the end home called. The only thing I didn't much care for was the high tax rate and of all the friends asked if they could choose between the high rate and less social they choose the lower rate instead of the status quo. Anyways, beautiful people you are Tina, in every way.

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Cagsil,nice meeting you too! It is really fun to write in another language, even though it takes a bit of time and I also need to check myself constantly, so I don't use the wrong words or bad grammar. But it gets easier with practice so I can really recommend it. It is also a great way to get to know people from other parts of the world which is so fun and gives me so much. I had never known you all here at HP otherwise and that had been a great loss!

I am glad you liked this and I appreciate your comment and up!!

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Hi Carl, it is great to meet you! And I hope you feel familiar with some of the typical Swedish behavior too, even though it isn't the whole picture of every Swede! I am glad to know you enjoyed this and thanks for all the votes!

Tina

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thougtforce Hub Author 4 months ago

Susan, I think every person has comfort zone up to where it feels comfortable. I have noticed that when I feel uncomfortable around some people, it mostly is because they want to stand to close to me. We become used to a distance between ourselves and the one we talk to and usually use that distance without we even know it. But some people have a shorter distance than I am used to in here in Sweden and it is well worth to think about. You didn't missed this hub, since you are here now:)) It is so good to see you Susan, whenever you visit! Thanks for your comment!

Tina

Cagsil profile image

Cagsil Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

You managed to compile a comprehensive list here and did an excellent job at writing it as well. And, you're right I would recommend any individual to try to learn how to write in another language, at least one. Not that I have tried it, considering I have enough trouble dealing with the American English language with which I grew up learning. LOL! Thank you for such a wonderful article. :) Voted up! :)

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CarltheCritic1291 Level 5 Commenter 4 months ago

Speaking as someone who is part Swedish, I really enjoyed this Hub :) Thanks for sharing. Voted Up and Everything Else :) Swedish culture is awesome!

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Just Ask Susan Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Tina, what a great hub! How did I ever miss this one?

There are quite a few similarities I found between Swede's and Canadians. I was taught as a child never to stare at strangers due to it being impolite. Not sure if comfort zone's is a cultural thing here but I know that I have a comfort zone and I'll back up if a stranger crosses that line :).

Before I take up too much space here I just wanted to say I so enjoyed reading this hub. Thank you for sharing what Swedish people are like.

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thougtforce Hub Author 6 months ago

Hi BkCreative, Oh, I think you definitely should do that! I am so glad this hub reminded you of your friend in Sweden. When you talk about an animal and fire in the square the one thing that come to my mind is the famous straw goat in the city Gavle. It is a long tradition to build a very big straw goat in the square in Gavle and for some reason there is an equal long traditon to set fire to the straw goat without becoming detected for the crime.

I am very grateful for our generous rules and it provides completely new opportunites for women to decide over their own lives. We do not need to stay in bad marriages with or without children and women can support themselves even if they are marriage. There are people who are struggling finacially or are worse off also in Sweden but the basic protection is present for all.

It sounds difficult to be a women in America and for me it also sounds a bit short sited and unfair. Children should be our number one priority and since we are normally two about it, it isn't fair that only women should carry all the responsibility.

I hope you find his adress somewhere! My best wishes to you BkCreative and thanks for reading. Your vote means a lot to me!

Tina

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BkCreative Level 6 Commenter 6 months ago

In the early days of the internet when finding an epal was so easy - well I had one in Sweden and he was the absolutely best. We wrote like once a month and shared our culture and he sent so many photos especially around the Christmas holiday - I forgot the animal and then fire he showed me in the square. We both changed emails addresses a few times and in my innocence I never thought about computers crashing and eventually we lost touch. But we wrote for years. There were so many great things I loved about the culture and what I learned about gender equality - few people in the world realize that American women must take a vow of abject poverty when she becomes pregnant. This country does not believe in paying maternity benefits - there is no paid time off after birth for any length of time, nor is there such a thing as a paid child benefit, guaranteed health care, nor a village to help raise a child.

There was so much more I liked about the fairness and equity of Sweden even before I started writing my pal and he just confirmed it - but it was no big deal to him. It was just a way of life.

Hmmm, I think I will go back through my old 10 year journal I started writing in in 1996 - maybe his address is in there somewhere. Last I heard his son was part of a great music group and rumor was that they were as good as ABBA.

Thanks for a lovely hub. Rated up of course.

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thougtforce Hub Author 6 months ago

Enlydia Listener, it is nice to meet you! Great thought and I agree with you. We pass on much of our culture and values to our children for good and bad even if we don't intend to do it. There are changes and the culture change with small steps over time but the mood and the way to behave looked upon like a group seems to stay on. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, I appreciate your visit!

Tina

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Enlydia Listener Level 6 Commenter 6 months ago

I know this is off topic a little, but I was thinking about our family when we were growing up. I remember hearing my dad tell my mom not to pick the baby up when it cried (everytime) because it would spoil the baby. I think parenting culture has to do with the culture of the country. (or family)

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thougtforce Hub Author 11 months ago

nsauer01, I hope you get a great vacation in Stockholm and that you will enjoy Sweden and meet some friendly Swedes as well. But remember that all this don't apply when a Swede drinks too much alcohol:) But then again, that must be the case with all humans I guess!

Thanks for you visit here!

Tina

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nsauer01 11 months ago

Thanks for the tips, I'll be traveling to Stockholm this fall and I'm glad to hear the Swedes dislike confrontation and eye contact as much as I do!

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thougtforce Hub Author 11 months ago

Hi Larry fields and no worries, I found the joke to be very funny! But I hope it isn't that bad though. In fact we do look at each other and others but we do it in a way that it doesn't show!

Thanks for your visit and the joke!

Tina

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Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 12 months ago

Hi Tina,

You wrote:

"Don’t look direct at another person in an elevator or on the subway."

It's my understanding that the cultures of the Scandinavian region have much in common, but with a few small differences too. Your observation about looking directing at people reminded me of a joke from your part of the world. I hope that it's not in poor taste to mention it here.

Q: How do you recognize a Finnish extrovert?

A: He looks at your shoes, rather than his own!

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thougtforce Hub Author 12 months ago

Hi Jack! I know that such tales exists about Swedish girls but I think it is a bit unfair! And I don't know about the tons of sex:) Swedish girls are just like other people and they don't like sex more than others. One difference can be that it is seen as normal to have sex before marriage for both girls and boys! But even here some old opinions still exists and girls who have sex with many partners can be regarded as bad while boys more are seen like real men. That is the ultimate injustice in my opinion! Once Swedish girls are in love with someone I think they are very loyal and true to their partner. But since girls and women can take care of themselves they will not stay in a bad relationship or stay on even if love for some reason has ended. Maybe this rumor come from our way of living, like pretty much equal, independent human beings.

I stand behind women's right to have sex if they want it and with whom they want. Everything else is just silly!

Thanks for coming by!

Tina

Jack 12 months ago

Can you give me your opinion regarding sex & loyalty/fidelity in swedish girls... it is well known that swedes tend to have tons of sex just for fun, does this changes once they are in a relationship?

Tack!! Tack!!

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thougtforce Hub Author 12 months ago

Larry fields, I must admit that I have never been near nor eaten surströmming! It is more common in north Sweden where it is consider delicious. But even those who like to eat it say that it smell horrible, so they must eat it outdoors which means that they eat it mostly during summer! And I suspect it will be easier with vodka:)

Tina

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Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 12 months ago

Thanks, Tina. I have another stooopid question. What do you think of surströming? (Spelling?) I've never tried it, or been motivated to try it. Maybe it would be OK on a cold Winter night, with a large quantity of vodka. :-)

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thougtforce Hub Author 12 months ago

Hi Larry Fields! Oh, I do not mind at all, and I will be glad to tell you! Yes it is right that we watch Donald Duck cartoons, but not on New Years Eve but on Christmas Eve! It is a tradition since 1959 when Swedish television for the first time showed a variation of the Walt Disney’s Christmas Show. Back then, this cartoon where the only cartoon we could see apart from going to cinema so it was a big occasion! Donald Duck became a important part of the celebration on Christmas Eve and even Christmas dinner was adjusted to Donald Duck so that the eating occurred before or after this show. Nowadays I guess it is mostly adults that can feel the need to see this programme for traditional reasons. It was an occasion when the whole family join in watching this show. But that have changed now. It has even gone so far that the kids do something else, and the adults are watching the cartoon! The children have way better cartoons to watch every hour of the day so they do not understand why they must sit and watch this silly cartoon over and over again. So, with time I think this tradition will fade away, when all who knows why are gone. Traditions are only alive as long as many feel the need to hold on to them, and this tradition is just sentimental and doesn’t really fit in today!

But for me, Donald Duck is an important part of Christmas Celebration even if I do not watch the programme every year. I turn on the TV and listen to the special lyrics that gives me a special Christmas feeling. Tina

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Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 13 months ago

Thougtforce, I hope that you don't mind my asking a stupid question. My other Swedish online acquaintance mentioned something interesting about New Years Eve. If I've understood correctly, it's now 'traditional' for Swedes to watch Donald Duck cartoons on that night. How did that come about? Thanks.

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thougtforce Hub Author 13 months ago

Hi, Larry Fields, I am happy to meet you here! Yes you would probably fit right into the Swedish society and personally I think it is a positive thing too! I have also met some Japanese citizens and as you say they are so polite and also a bit reserved. I found this typical behaviour depending on the country one live to be very interesting and well worth knowing about.

Even though Swedes do have a somewhat liberal attitude towards sex I feel that it is more talking and not so much doing! Especially young boys talk like they never do anything else and also do it with everyone but the funny thing is that the girls do not do it all the time or with everyone! Quite the opposite really, young girls are more careful since they get a bad reputation pretty quick! So therefore I wonder how much truth there is in such statements.

The once who do have sex in a more tolerant way is maybe adult singles until they meet there partner! But to be honest I am not sure about that either:) I am sad to say that I do not know about "the Santa Clause variation" but I can guess!

Thanks for your interesting comment and for adding value to this hub! My best regards. Tina

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Larry Fields Level 6 Commenter 13 months ago

Hi thougtforce. Great hub! By American standards, I'm usually a bit reserved. And here, that's considered to be a negative quality.

For part of my time in graduate school, I shared a house with some Japanese students. I was pleasantly surprised to find that by their cultural standards, that is considered to be a good thing. In that respect, I'd probably be comfortable in Swedish society too.

Over the last several years, I've learned what I can about the countries of the Scandinavian region. Some of the humor has been particularly insightful.

An online Swedish acquaintance was demonstrating his broad range of tolerance for sexuality between consenting adults. And he mentioned the Santa Clause variation, in passing. I must be too provincial; that would never have occurred to me!

Regards, Larry

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thougtforce Hub Author 13 months ago

Hi PegCole! Yes I guess a Swede will bring some of these characteristics with them when living abroad and it is interesting to hear about your experiences with Swedes.

The tax base is quite big, where I live we pay 34% in taxes so it does add up with the benefits. Many people think it is too much but there is a big safety net for all with small or no income! And the health care is free for all citizens. It is a way we are used too and personally I like the system and it works pretty well. Thanks for your interesting comment and for the "wonderful"! Tina

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PegCole17 Level 7 Commenter 13 months ago

This was wonderfully written and explains a lot about the people I worked with for many years at a telecom here. Although most of the Swedes were Americanized I recognized many characteristics of those who first transfered to our US location from Sweden. As time passed they seemed to blend in to the crowd. Loved hearing the accents up and down the hall. I was always impressed by the college educational opportunities in Sweden - thinking this is a great way to encourage development and new talent for anyone who pursues it. Having learned of the time off for motherhood (and fatherhood) it was amazing but then so is the tax base.

Very enjoyable hub.

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thougtforce Hub Author 14 months ago

LeeAnn, Now you did surprise me, I thought you where just an American girl but you have many hidden talents! I think you are doing just fine!! But maybe you need to learn a few more words before you practise this in Sweden! Haha!

I wonder though, how you picked these Swedish words, when seeing them together I cant help but wonder what you have been up to when you learned those words, or on the other hand I can:)This was a great and funny comment!

Mrs. J. B. profile image

Mrs. J. B. 14 months ago

Okay Girlfriend you ready?

Hej. Vad heter du? Jag heter, LeeAnn nickname LeeLee. Idag eventuett ja sakta men sakert I uppfattning Swedish.

NOW a few little one liners... SHHHHH.. I hope you have a sense of humor! Gubbe, skitstovel, aj!, hjalp, jobbar du naken? imorgon, javia idioter

Adjo or Hejda.

HAHAHA!!!!!!! How did I do??????

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thougtforce Hub Author 14 months ago

Hi David, I am happy you found the Swedes warm and friendly. That is of course my opinion also. But I can understand why people from other countries who don’t know us might see it different and why they see Swedes as these stereotypes. I also like the kindness and thoughtfulness of the Swedish people and I am use to that behavior. I like the quote by Abraham Lincoln very much, it is so tru:)

You don’t strike me as a smug and stuck up person but some people can’t stand people who don’t ramble on all the time, maybe they are afraid of silence.

From one quiet person to another, there are as you say two sides of the coin. Thank you very much for your kind and insightful comment, since you have been living here it is very interesting and I appreciate your views!

Bye for now ~ Tina!

David99999 14 months ago

I wanted to add something. I have - from time to time - been accused of being smug, "stuck-up," or, "too quiet." However, the individuals who have made these charges have had insecurity issues. If I may say so, the Swedes have a lot to be proud of.

As for your English...It is **perfect**!:)

David99999 14 months ago

This was very interesting. I recognized many of the stereotypes that you mentioned. I suspect that a number of them have come from Americans who are envious of the Swedes. As an American who lived in Sweden and immersed himself in their culture, I would have to disagree with these "impressions."

First of all, I found the people of Sweden to be very warm and friendly. Many of those whom I met during my first year in their **beautiful** county remain in close contact with me, yet today. I appreciate their thoughtfulness and kindness. The fact that they are viewed as "quiet," is, a projection of the habit of some individuals less-familiar with Swedes, to ramble on, while not actually stating much of value.

Quoting Abraham Lincoln... "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove

all doubt."

Having debated my fellow Americans...trust me...there many in my country-of-birth who would benefit immeasurably by pondering Lincoln's words, and, following the example of Swedes. As for smugness...if one is loud, rude, and derogatory - as many tourists in Sweden, from various countries have demonstrated to this American - the natives of the country they are visiting probably won't warm up to them.

This very well written.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 15 months ago

Hello Tina V. nice too meet you here! I like that video to, because it is great humor, ironic but yet true! You are so right, there are many people just talking and never mind if the reciever is interested or not! It is a skill to be able to really listen to others! I hope you will find this hub useful if you visit Sweden! Thanks for your kind comment!I appreciate it!

TINA V profile image

TINA V 15 months ago

This is an interesting write-up about your country and people. I enjoy your last video on learning how to be a Swedish. I think all countries have our own history, culture, practices, and habits. I agree with your proverb, “Talking is silver, Silence is gold” because nowadays many people love to talk but fail to listen. Listening is an important aspect in communication. This article help us better understand Swedes. I’ll bookmark this hub.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 15 months ago

Hello Izettl! I am delighted that you are back!

We have the same type of competition between families, neighbors etc, but in a more silent way! Every parent wants the best for their children and we expect them to be good and do the best they can. But to constantly tell your child that you are proud of him/her when they have done something good isn’t usual in Sweden! In fact, I have never heard it from anyone! Maybe it is the Jante Law again, that way to praise your child is too much, because it is sort of ugly too be too good! You are not supposed to be better than others, and if you are better, you don’t brag about it! But of course we praise our children when they do something good, it is just that we do not use that word, at least not around where I live. It can be different in other parts of Sweden. I live on the Swedish west coast and here it has always been important not to be different or be better than others. The awkward thing is that everybody wants to be best or better than others, but in a way as if we didn’t notice it our selves. If you are successful you are considered to be a good person if you act like you are not successful! If you are successful but yet humble and don’t show off you are a very good person! That can be tricky, and that has to be learned in early years! So, we praise our children when they are good or behave good, but more quite and with other words.

Both parents have 240 days with 90% compensation each to stay home with their children. Each parent can give away their part to the other parent, except for 60 days. Since almost all women are working it has been normal and accepted that having kids interfere with work. And it is more and more usual that dads stay home half the allowed time. Where I work it is almost expected of the men that they should stay home and take care of their children half the time or so. And since they are used to take care of their children it is no big deal to continue to do so, if the child becomes ill it is as usual that the dad is home. After the parental leave you can stay home and take care of your children with 80% compensation when they are sick until the year the child turn twelve!

But it is a struggle anyway, to be successful at work and at the same time have a family. Children do interfere at work and I know that there are employers that think twice before they employ young people or one that is expected a baby. But if they let that criteria decide who is going to get the job they can be sued so they have to do it without it become obvious!

Thank you so much for your comment and for adding to this hub with your thoughts and facts!

These little differences between people are so interesting, and mostly we are not even aware of them. But there are differences! And they do matter, when we meet people from another country. If we know about them we can be more open minded and except our differences!

Take care Izettl, and I agree with you, this is an interesting topic!

izettl profile image

izettl Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

That seems bizarre to me that Swedish parents don't say they're proud of their kids very often or at all. We here it so much in the U.S. "Make me proud son" or "you've made me proud daughter". I think it's why so many parents here try to live their unaccomplished dreams (vicariously) through their children. Parents see themselves through their children- if their child succeeds, thn they've (the parent) succeeded. This does cause a lot of competition in families and especially with siblings. But on my dad's side of the fmaily, they compare the cousins (their kids) to each other. Who had better education, more kids, better house, etc. It's so silly. The standards are high on that side of the family so I've always felt a little below. The pride thing is very much important in the U.S.

When studying the Swedish for a "Work and Family" course I took in college, it was interesting to find out that they have more time off and better policies for mothers there.It seems more geared to help out families and make life easier for them. Whereas, a constant struggle in U.S is for moms to appear at work and not let anything to do with their kids interfere. Moms who take time off to be with sick kids are frowned upon. The weight lies heavily on moms and not much on dads.

Talking about sex- sexy images are portrayed everywhere in the U.S but you won't find people talking about it in public.

Well ,that was a long comment- sorry, but I've been thinking of this topic. Great topic!

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 15 months ago

Hej Greg, your comment was very fun and interesting to read this morning. You have made the start of my day much brighter! I agree with you about the second video, I think it is very funny, it is so on the spot with great irony! Korv- sausage- is so typical for Sweden, we eat it in all possible way and shapes!

How interesting to know that Americans share much of the unwritten laws with the Swedes! Then maybe I would fit right in to the American lifestyle without make those serious mistakes:)

And the German people, I haven’t been much in Germany but we have quite many German tourists here during summer, and I can validate the things you describe. It is so unnecessary to do mistakes without knowing that your actions make the other person uncomfortable!

Thanks for your kind word about my writing:) I am so happy I start to write on HP, other wise I would never have had the opportunity to meet all you people over there! And I have no problem with your writing either, you have a wonderful way to describe your days with Elliot! Take care now Greg, my dear friend!

gg.zaino profile image

gg.zaino Level 2 Commenter 15 months ago

God eftermiddag Tina, var detta skrivs mycket bra! :0

i enjoyed this very much and watched the videos. All very well done! The second video had me laughing out loud. Ha!

My impression of Swedes started at home with family members- Backstroms and Swansons. Backstroms were people of correctness- Swansons liked beer and laughing. I love Korv- my mother (Lucille Swanson) made it at home, as well as pickled herring.

My next impression of Swedes came from the people at Volvo who bent over backwards for us. The designer himself came from the building to see that all was correct with our new auto.

Funny about Sweden and the US- we also do not look others in the eye on first contact and rarely do afterward as well-

likewise we maintain about an arms length for "Personal Space" from others. We also share the seat phobia on buses and trains- HA! :)

Living in Germany for me was difficult knowing all that. Germans are always up close, right in your face -

sit down to dine with you at restaurants-

stare at you on the streets- and bore into your eyes with theirs without knowing you personally-

sit next to you on a bus with ten seats open nearby.

I can truly appreciate the Swedish lifestyle and traditions. I love seafood and share the blood, that helps.

Thank you so much Tina- oh.... and by the way, i have thought this many times before. Your writing is better than most Americans, that is the truth. I have much admiration for you and this challenge you have taken on. you do extremely well.

I do hopr that my writing doesn't confuse you....

Peace and Hugs Sister Tina :]_~~

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Izettl, to read articles from people from another country is so great! I find myself sometimes stunned and surprised when reading hubs or more often when I read comments in the forum, but then I think again and I try to see it from their point of view. We have different prerequisites, different religion, political veiws, social inheritage etc.

Interesting what you say of the Americans, that is pretty much the picture I have too! But I didn´t know about the competition within the families, that sounds a bit difficult and I can imagine that it complicates family relations! My picture of the American families is that it is important to do well and make your parents proud of you! But maybe I have seen to many American movies where the word "proud" is used in all possible situations:) That word feels a bit grandiloquent for me as a Swede, I have never heard a Swede tell his son or daughter that he/she is proud of their children! We simply say; well done, or how good you are or something like that. That is a small but yet big difference I think. So, maybe Americans need a bit of Jante Law and the Swedes needs less:) I am so glad you came by and thank you for your interesting comment!

izettl profile image

izettl Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

I admire the people on hubpages from other countries that come here and write. I probably learn the most from those in other countries on here.

On the Jante law~ sometimes I think it would be better if Americans thought more collectively, but also individuality is so important to thrive in the U.S. I think a little bit in between would be better. Americans stray so much from their family and sometimes the competition to outdo others, espceially within family, puts a strain on relationships.

Great hub by the way- really gets me thinking.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 15 months ago

Hello Tonymac, I agree whith you on this of course:) We are warm, generous, open and also funny people! That is how I se us too, and therefore it was so interesting to read that our new Swedes didn´t see this at all! I am so happy that you enjoyed your visit here and that you liked the Swedish people you met, and thanks for your great comment here!

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 15 months ago

I really enjoyed this Hub. I have in the last ten years or so had quite a lot of contact with Swedish people and came to love them very much. I also spent two weeks in Sweden some years ago, in Orebro, Stockholm and Uppsala. I was lucky enough to experience First of May in Uppsala - so much fun!

The Swedish people I met were warm, open and generous. I loved my time there and would go back if I had the opportunity.

Thanks for sharing this interesting Hub.

Love and peace

Tony

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

Hi Silver Fish, Even if we all are humans there is some small differences between us. We grow up to be pretty much like our parents, even if we strive not to be, at least when we are teenagers. So, therefore it takes time to adapt to this new global world, and those special sterotypes remain in each country! Scotland have a interesting history and I can imagine that you have some stereotypes there too. Thanks for coming by and for your much appreciated feedback!

Silver Fish profile image

Silver Fish Level 1 Commenter 16 months ago

I love this hub. I live in Scotland, and like Swedish people we are subject to many stereotypes, not all of them positive!

In Scotland we have national folk poet called Robert Burns born in the 18th Century, a poet and a philosopher, and he quoted " to see ourselves as others see us!"

You have a wonderful ability to be so objective about your own culture.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

AliciaC, I am glad you came to my corner and that you enjoyed reading this! It was a hub that had to be written, but one never know if anyone will find it interesting since Sweden is a small country! But I would like to read some unwritten laws of other contries too! And if you ever visit Sweden you will know how to behave:) I am so glad you came by and your visits and comments are always appreciated! Thanks!

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

Martie, my dear friend, your comment is wonderful and I take your kind words to my heart! How interesting to hear about the people from South Africa, and I must admit that I somehow have felt that you were not a typical South-African! It is complicated and I guess it will take some time to unite a nation with such a troublesome history! But the typical qualities of the white South-Africans seems to be very warm and shows great qualities, and that is exactly the picture I have of you! It is funny (or not funny at all) with how the other world look upon a country. If one just get some glimses from the news or hear some bad information about a country, that may be the picture we carry with us! But most of us know that it is not so easy and that it isn´t the true picture. No people in a country is that simple to figure out!

I will love to read a hub about the South-African people. What a great idea! I know it will be so interesting!

I think you would fit in very nicely in Sweden, we slowly adapt to our many new citizens from other countries! Give us some time and the Swedes will be crying in public and dancing in the streets:))

As always, thanks for a great comment, I always smile when I see your picture! Take care and bye for now!

AliciaC profile image

AliciaC Level 7 Commenter 16 months ago

Thank you for a very interesting hub. It was fascinating to learn about Sweden and the Swedish mentality. I would love to visit your country. Hopefully one day I will be able to.

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser Level 8 Commenter 16 months ago

Wow, what a lovely, informative hub! I enjoyed every word. You, my friend, don’t lack – thank heavens – the ability to show your feelings and warm heart to us. Now that I know this is not a spontaneous Swedish characteristic, I feel more honored and proud to be regarded by you as a friend.

In my view – and English is also my second language – your English is perfect. I love your style of writing. If your sentences are odd structured – like many of mine are too – I may not even notice it. Your topics are interesting and brilliant; your thoughts are deep and wide and high – it is a pleasure to know you through your writings.

I think you will appreciate some relevant information about South-Africans. In particular white S-Aricans, who differs radically from the blacks (who have their own, unique, respectable and less respectable mentality).

Personally I don’t really have a ‘typical’ South-African mentality, neither has my fellow-countryman, Tonymac. We are ‘outsiders’ watching the crowds and realizing that it will take another few decades for them to ‘grow up’. Of course here are many like us, publishing and advocating their perceptions and interpretations of reality all over the show. The problem is that the core of the crowds – the heart of the nation – don’t read or listen to any others except to those who are like them.

Some typical qualities of white South-Africans – and here Tony and I are included – Generosity, friendliness, hospitality, too willing to forgive, courageous, stubborn but able to tolerate wrongs instead of becoming violent, unbeatable, we always make a plan to solve a problem or to reach a goal, we are tenaciously unwilling to yield to what we believe is wrong, most of the times we just do what we believe is right, never mind if our neighbors agree with us or not, a tendency to form snobbish groups/unions/cliques, but during crisis situations we unite and support each other. We, except for some odd ones, are very fond of our families, always in close contact with our parents and siblings.

And how does the world see us? As racists, cruel, selfish, arrogant...

I’ve bookmarked this very interesting hub. I can really use it to write a hub with the title ‘The difference between white South-Africans and the Swedish’, and another one – the difference between black South-Africans and the Swedish.

Personally I will be able to live in the Kingdom of Sweden in spite of the fact that I may be regarded as too friendly, spontaneous and precocious until I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut and my face straight in public. Lol!

Thanks again for a lovely, enjoyable hub, thoughtforce! See you again soon :)

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

Hi Rob Hanlon! Good question, but not so easy to answer! But no, I don´t think so! What I do know is that the Northern countries in Europe are quite alike, but there are also differences between them.

As a Swede I think that we have good quality of life and we live a relatively safe life. For example; Everyone have the same possibility to get health care, and there is a safety net if we get unemployed or if we cant work due to illness. Everyone who wants and can, can study at the University or College, without paying any charges them selves. And we have a solid democracy and free speech. Even so, there are many people complaining here too! Either they complain about the taxes, or that they dont get enough money when they recieve different types of grants from the government. I guess we take it for granted. But that is how we humans are, never satisfied:)Thanks for coming by and for your comment!I am glad you liked this Hub!

Rob Hanlon profile image

Rob Hanlon 16 months ago

Would you say that Sweden enjoys a better quality of life than most other European countries, thougtforce ?

Very thought provoking Hub, well done.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

LillyGrillzit, yes, there is something Sweden have in common with those places you mention! And if I ever come to those parts of America I will certainly try crayfish there:-) Thanks for coming back with this PS. Athough there are differences we are quite alike anyway!

LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit Level 1 Commenter 16 months ago

PS. We have crayfish in the Southern portion of North America. Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and Arkansas have offerings. The Gulf Coast used to be the best place to get them...

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

Erin LeFey, I am so glad to meet you! I would want to have this kind of information too when travel to another country, otherwise it is impossible to understand and get at picture of the people living there. I understand about the U.S, it is a waste country. It would be very many hubs on that subject:) But it would be very useful!I am so glad you came by, and thanks for your kind comment!

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

LillyGrillzit, I am happy to see you again! You are so right, it is the simple things that is important in meetings. There are so much body language and other things going on besides talking when people meet, and if we don´t know or understand each other it can lead to misunderstandings! Thanks for your great comment It is always a pleasure to see you in my corner!

Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey Level 5 Commenter 16 months ago

Thanks for the insight on being a Swede and what to expect in Sweden. I do think that this is good information for people to know when they travel to other countries in order to really enjoy the culture. I would love to do a piece on the U.S. unfortunately people are different depending on which part of the country you are visiting. It would be a very long piece! Thanks again and I look forward to more of your hubs! Namaste'

LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit Level 1 Commenter 16 months ago

thoughtforce, thank you for presenting this beautiful insight into the Swedish way. Forming relationships and unity depend on simple understandings, this is nice. Thanks again.

thougtforce profile image

thougtforce Hub Author 16 months ago

Justsilvie, I am happy to hear that! Intresting also to hear that you can see some of it in Austria too! Maybe it is part of living in another country, it takes some time to know people and understand how they think! Thanks for coming by, and for your comment!

Justsilvie profile image

Justsilvie Level 4 Commenter 16 months ago

Interesting Hub. I see some of the same traits in Austrian's. But I have never met a Swede I did not like.

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